The bitch that is....

My Co-Worker.

I don't blog about this person. The most annoying person in my life thus far. For 1 reason: This person suffers with depression, I appreciate that depression is an illness and therefore can't be helped! However, can she use her illness as a way of being a down right bitch? I'm thinking not. I put up with her negative view point about everything work wise, I put up with her constant moaning, however, I wont put up with being spoken to like I'm under her.

The story goes like this.

Diet Coke Man (hubba) had organised for a carpet to be fitted today. The carpet people told us they would arrive at 9am, fine I got here early to make sure I'd be here if they did turn up early. At 10am there was still no sign of them!!! I called them to find out where they were and they said that would be here at 11am. Fine...

11am and they do turn up. I speak to the carpet fitter and he tells me it will only take an hour to fit the carpet - excellent!

I had a dentist appointment at 1.40pm, to get to my dentist on time I needed to leave my office at 1.15pm.

At 12.45pm the carpet fitters are still not finished. I go up and ask them how much longer they are going to be as I have the keys and would need to lock them out. They tell me they'll be 30 minutes. Well, this wasn't good, it would be too close to my dentist appointment.

Co-Worker is part-time here, as she has 2 jobs, her other job is working at a little store 5 mins walk away that she owns. I have an idea I'll ask Co-Worker to put up the back in 10minutes sign, and then she can stay while I go to the dentist. This I didn't think would be too much to ask!

She comes over, to wait for the carpet fitters to finish and to lock them out of our offices and I leave.

I get back and pop into the store to say thank you and she just goes off on one...

Co-Worker: Gretta. They did not leave until 2pm. I have a business to run you know, you should have asked someone else to have waited in the office.

Gretta: But everyone else is out on project work!

Co-Worker: Well, next time plan it a bit better.

Ohhh I was mad.

Gretta: To be frank with you I did plan it. The builders were suppose to be here at 9am they turned up at 11. 2 hours late NOT MY FAULT. They told me they would only be an hour I BELIEVED THEM, when they went over that time I checked and they said they would be HALF AN HOUR MORE. I did not know they would be over an hour longer than they had stated. SO MY PLANNING wasn't the problem. I'm sorry I put you out but I didn't think it would be a big deal.

Like I said I don't usually bite, because this woman has an illness, but I don't think her illness can explain pure rudeness. No one speaks to Gretta like that.

before I die I want to climb a mountain,

Work is dead today! Really dead. The boss is away until tomorrow which means my work load is a little on the small side (just literally manning the phones and trying to avoid making the builder any tea in hope that he'll actually build).

I've been chatting a fair bit with Climber Dude lately. He is doing something called the 3 peaks challenge with a team of people for charity in June. He asked me if I want to do it as well. They're basically climbing a mountain in Scotland, England and Wales over the period of a long weekend. I personally don't think I am capable of doing 3 mountains in one go it sounds all a bit tiresome. However, I have said I'll go and meet them in Wales and do the final (and easiest) mountain with them (Snowdon).

This weekend we have a traning weekend, where I think we are going to be walking from 10 - 4. It sounds crazy and although I'm not doing all the 3 peaks I still figure I need to so the training as I am no mountain climber, in fact I haven't climbed a mountain before ever. The only reason I said I 'd meet them to do Snowdon is because climbing a mountain is on my list of things to do before I die.

Yes come on you all must have that list. I can't be the only one.

So, yeah this weekend I am going to be spending time with Climber Dude, and a team of other rambling climber dudes and dudettes - I'm kind of looking forward to it should be fun. My biggest fear is I have an inklin that myself and Climber Dude will be the youngests in the group. I'm just hoping my inklin is wrong and in fact there are some other hot climberdudes with great arms that I can ask to carry me if things all get too much.

I can't believe I'm talking about the weekend and it's only Tuesday lunch time lol.

I'm going to see the bucket list with best friend tonight at the cinema - ah ha bucket list see a list of things to do before you die! What irony!

Over and Out!

I haven't heard much from Flatmate for the last week. He said a few things the week before and if I'm to be honest they kind of freaked me out! He was saying things about his relationship with Gifty and hinting that he'd end things with her. I think he wanted me to say that if he were to end things with her then we'd be together. However, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Ok I've been sensible to a point with Flatmate - yes I embrace the attention he gives me but we haven't had sex in a very long time and part of me thinks that's all he's after and if he ends things with Gifty he knows I'll give it to him. And ok I'm unsensible to the point that I let things go a lot farther than friendship and I know that's wrong. But like I said I've had no random visits this last week, not much chat on msn and I think he's probably punishing me for not saying what he wanted me to say and do you know what I couldn't give a stuff. He might think it's ok to cheat on his girlfriend, but if I am going to make a relationship committment to someone then I deserve someone who isn't going to cheat on me! No matter what mistakes I've made with men.

So, if this is it for me and Flatmate and quite frankly it really might be because I just don't feel sad about it. I feel like I've had my fun and if it's over it's over.

Climber Dude and Jerk Boy it was nice to hang out with them, it wasn't alone time with Climber Dude and I felt safe in the knowledge that Jerk Boy was there, so all in all it was a good evening, we just chilled out.

Anyhow - I'm pretty shattered so think I'm going to get some rest.

Night

A rant about the French, about the English and a lot of hoping and not hoping!

I'd like England to beat France today for many reasons. The French do have some flaws, you know the men have sexy accents, and the French cuisine can sometimes be devine. Yes.

However, the French can also be darn right rude.

I've been to France on quite a number of occasions, it's fairly easy to just nip over the channel! The people aren't quite that great. I've probably had a bad experience with the French every time I've visited. Admittedly I am crap at languages and was taught German in school, so that's a lot of use in France, clearly! But I always give languages ago. So, seriously there is no need to scrunch up your scrawney French face when I try and then moan and laugh at me!

Then, the last time I was in France, I got to a supermarket early, it hadn't yet opened, I wanted to get fresh french bread (yummy). Then this old woman, (and ok I should respect my elders, but just because they're old doesn't give them right of way I had been waiting in the queue for ages) pushed in front of me!!!! Well, I was in my "no one messes with Gretta frame of mind" so I pushed back in front of her (slighly pathetic I know!). However, then the old woman started ramming me with her silly pushable shopping trolly and then proceeded to kick me at least 3 times on the back on my leg - the bitch. I had 3 bruises for the rest of my holiday. If only I could have spoken good french I would have done that old bitch for assult!

Anyhow, as a way of revenge I'd like England to kick the French butts really hard this evening, however, knowing England, they'll probably be the ones left with bruises on their legs. Lets just hope not.

Silly French.

Anyhow, Best Friend, Best Friend's Hubby, Climber Dude, Jerk Boy and maybe MusicMan are all coming round to watch it with me should be fun.

In other news my boobs have been popping out all day, they've been so hard to control, so I'm really hoping that means my period is coming early and therefore it will be timed right so I'm not on when I'm on holiday - that or I'll have to run over on the pill but I hate doing that. So, left just hope!

Stepping out of a role.

I work very very closely with my boss. When he's in the office I'm his PA and basically skivvy. I have to be free to drop anything else I may have been working on and do whatever he chuck at me (kind of slave like really). However, when he's not in the office I run the place, which then I make everyone else do stuff for me, and spend more time than I'd like chasing people who haven't met deadlines set for them.

Anyhow, the other day me and the boss were working alongside some stuff and we got into a deep and meaningful. Before I go on I have a lot of respect for my boss, he works hard, he doesn't always finish what he starts, he has a lot of ideas that get taken forward and then he has a lot of ideas that stay stagnent. However, he's a family man, loves his wife dearly, spoils his children rotten but clearly he cares a lot for them. Anway, back to our D&M.

Boss: Gretta I have no fear about you!

It came out of the blue

Gretta: No fear about me what???

Boss: You know there is something about a girl who waits for the right guy to come along.

At this point I was still a bit perplexed about the conversation, me and the boss discuss lots of stuff but we rarely discuss my personal life and it felt a bit like he was for a moment talking to me as a friend and not my boss. Curious I found myself asking questions.

Gretta: what do you mean something about a girl who waits?

Boss: Some girls are so desperate to settle down that they just go with the first available guy, and they end up with some idiot that ends up messing them around. However, I predict that you will meet someone, and you'll know when it's right, and because you know I don't see you being someone to mess around I see you committing and going for it, you may end up married much quicker than anyone thought but I have no fear. You will meet someone, he will be right for you and you will settle down.

I didn't know what to say at this point, it was so out of the blue, and so a step beyond employer and employee but his certainty about it, flattered me so much. He really values me and it's given me hope because I can't help but believe what he says.

Ahhhhhh

My new wireless connection is absolutely pants - msn is playing me up something rotten which means I can't play! NO FAIR!

Comfortable weight AKA FAT!

I'm fat

but I'm far too darn lazy to do anything about it.

Seriously I've put on weight this winter, enough for me to notice - but it's too cold and I'm far too unmotivated to actually exersize.

I keep eating, I've comfort eaten in the past and I'm unsure whether it's out of comfort or what but I enjoy food far too much whatever, and it's having it's effect.

I'm looking forward to summer when I can go blading in the park, and walking in hte countryside, once the weather gets warmer I may even start walking to work.

I can't just blame the weather though, I really need to be more motivated but quite frankly, I can't be arsed!

Spreading the love!

Happy Valentine's Day.

I should be depressed! Last year I got 2 valentine's day cards, one from Flatmate and one from Batman - you'll have to search Batman to even remember who he is, he's totally not in my life anymore. And if that's not enough that this year can't compate to last, I'm still single! However, I feel quite good about my singleness. I plan on getting a bottle of wine tonight and sorting out hte mess that is my flat.

Anyway, today - Flatmate was online waiting for me to log in to msn and he sent me a rose via msn, no card this year but the fact that he'd planned it - so before I could even speak to him he had wished me happy valentine's day was still quite sweet.

I asked him what he had planned for Gifty, I was curious and I don't have feelings for Flatmate bar pure lust, so it doesn't upset me when he talks about Gifty anymore.

He said he'd bought her some flowers and a card. Then the conversation went a bit like this..

Flatmate: Gretta I realised something today

Gretta: what did you realise?

Flatmate: That I'm not really into soppy cards and stuff, but then I thought it might not be the cards, but maybe I just don't feel that way for Gifty anymore and it's really confused me!

Gretta: Come on relationships go through ups and downs, you and Gifty have had lows before and pulled through fine!

Flatmate: That's the thing though, we're getting on really well lately, we have been for a while, but something just doesn't feel right.

Gretta: Tell you what try not to think about it today, have a good romantic evening with her and then you'll probably forget all about even thinking this way.

Flatmate: yeah. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

It's a bit odd isn't to be speaking so freely about your playmate's girlfriend so openly, but it just doesn't phase me anymore! Has anyone read a book called "Getting rid of Matthew" it's a good chick book - if you haven;t read it you should, Betty you'd love it. Only issue is I'm kind of concerned, if him and Gifty ever did break up I'm thinking he'd probably b-line for me! I don't think I could ever give him what he wants, but to be honest I don't think he has the guts to ever leave Gifty, they've been together for about 3 years now. So, it'll be fine. Gretta wont have to start the getting rid of Flatmate book.

I'm loving it!

I'm at home yey. Having a night in yey. Still have Climber Dude bloked yey. And coincidentally don't plan on seeing him all week yey. If that's not enough to be happy about I'm going to settle myself down watch eastenders and then read some of my book. Sometimes, the simple things in life please me the most.

And just when I'd given up ALL hope

I get an email from Teddy!

He's applied for a job in Europe, but the email doesn't tell me where - that useful Teddy dear real useful!

It's come even more to my attention this Monday that Climber Dude is in fact a dick head shitting arse hole and how you may ask did I come to this rather cursery conclusion. Well, I was at work today and on msn I always am as I need to liaise with work collegues on there (occasionally) anyway he logs on as he's on a late shift and I thought it would be nice of me to say hi. So I did. We chatted on and off for a while, all the time I was working because I'm a lady and can multitask, and hten he says to me "shouldn't you be doing work I'm beginning to think you're really lazy" I say "Um well actually I am working as we chat" he then says "well maybe you should focus on work" How bloody condescending is that? It just riled me even mroe to the point where I've blocked him on msn.

I'm just so fed up of English men. They're all the f***** same!

Looking for me

The charity event was pretty awful.

No really it was ok but pretty bad all the same....

Where to start, I needed to find out if Climber Dude was going to be there!!! He appeared on msn so I thought I'll just ask. I'd basically come to the decision if he's going then I wont.

Gretta: You going to this charity gig?

Climber Dude: No wasn't planning to - are you?

Gretta: yeah I'm just finding out who else is going to be there

Climber Dude: Is that a hint do you want me to come

Gretta: No.

Climber Dude: Sounded like a hint to me!

Gretta: Really, it wasn't!

I couldn't be arsed to talk to him after that.

So the charity gig, musicman and his girl went, so did intellect and his dude and although they were quite happily chatting to me, they were all a bit too lovedovey with it and at times I did feel a little uncomfortable.

The other issue was there were loads of families there with kids!! I was shocked people still took their kids out late at night but apparently they do and I was scanning the place for single guys, but most of the ones eyeing me were extremely old and then I'd see some kid tugging their arms and then a wife would appear. And, the bristish drinking culture I hate cos there were a few guys holding up the bar, but I should really say the bar was propping htem up and if I was at the bar waiting to get a drink I'd more than likely be bumped or banged or have my arse groped! Not particularly what I wanted.

I get home to find a note from Flatmate posted through my door "I'm in the area tonight if you want to see give me a ring."

It was extremely tempting, and eventually I ended up calling him, he came over, he tried everso hard to work his magic, and I just don't know what was wrong with me I jsut wasn't in the mood.

He was pissed with me I could tell, I think he took it personally, and I guess I shouldn't have called him if I wasn't going to follow through, but he didn't stay the night he said he was visiting one of his guy friend's anyway so was going to back to sleep there. Which basically does mean he was mad with me, I've had an msn conversation since and he's told me he's over it but I think I did bruise his ego a bit, but how do you tell a guy it's not you, it's just that I was feeling down about being single, and when you came over the thought that actually you have a girlfriend and this is never going to last didn't appeal to me and in fact turned me completely off, not you, just fooling around in general! You can't really explain that!

I think I need to find myself again, before Climber Dude ok I was having a little bit of fun on the side but I was quite happy with being single, but because I came so close to being in a relationship the idea of commitment has began to appeal more and more and now I do find other people's public displays of affection uncomfortable, to be honest I've never really been a public display kind of girl, would much rather keep it private but when you see 2 people being all cute and lovey it kind of half makes you want that. I don't know through the Climber Dude situation I seemed to have lost myself and I'm just not sure how or where to find her.

Straight Talking!

I have decided (betty you will be pleased to know) to go to this charity gig. However, I have offered to drive intellect and intellect's new bloke, so I will be stone cold sober all night, which I'm going to say is a good thing because I'm horny as hell this evening, really am beginning to realise that I just need a good seeing to!

Anyhow.... Saw Climber Dude last night at the pub and today at a friend's house. He was trying to talk me into helping him decorate I really didn't want to and he was making me feel guilty for saying no. That was last night at the pub then today he said.

"Gretta I don't mean to make you feel guilty for not helping me out, but I've noticed really that I make you feel bad quite a lot for not doing stuff, I'm a bit of an arsehore really aren't I?"

I didn't know how to respond to that and I possibly responded in the worst possible way.

"Yes you are an arsehole, but at least you recognise you are, which beats the common kind of arsehole"

I don't think he was expecting that response as he went quiet then haha.. Think I caused offense, but it's kind of the thing I do, I'm straight talking kind of girl! But I think you lot already know that.

Charity Event V Childish Dilemma

I popped to my local last night, the place where the gang tend to hang out. Climber Dude was there and not many others. I briefly spoke to him but I didn’t stick around long because no one else was there and I'm still thinking distance is good for us.

However, while at the pub a girl talked me into buying a ticket to a charity event she’s running this Saturday night. At first I didn’t want to get a ticket not because I’m a stinge , but vecause I wasn’t sure who was going and if I'd know anyone, anyway she let me look at her list of people she’d already got to buy tickets and low and behold there were quite a few people on the list I knew…

Jerk Boy
Intellect
Intellect’s new man (yes I don’t think I’ve mentioned that but that would be the reason I’ve not mentioned Intellect lately)
Musicman
Musicman’s girl
Climber Dude

So I thought to myself, ahh Jerk Boy is on the list – I’ll be fine and I got a ticket, thinking whatever it’ll be a good Saturday night out.

Anyway, I text Jerk Boy today and he text me back telling me she railroaded him into buying a ticket but he already has plans that night so isn’t going even though he has a ticket. I called Musicman’s girl earlier and she told me she didn’t know if she and musicman were going to make it now because she has to work late on Saturday and wont get home in time.

This is when I realised, it may end up - me, Climber Dude, Intellect and Intellect’s new man!!!!

Ahhh this could be a problem.. I didn’t recognise anyone else I knew on the list and although the people there will generally be from the local area it’s not like I can sit down and chat to them, which subsequently means it’ll end up me and Climber Dude.

I’ve had an email from Intellect saying she’s definitely going and wants me to go because we haven’t caught up in ages (because she’s been busy if you get me).

I know if I go me and Climber Dude will end up chatting all night long, I don’t want to undo the strong work I’ve done at putting healthy distance between us, but I also know the girl who was selling tickets wont be happy if loads of people don’t turn up and I feel like I should support her, she’s doing a good thing, Intellect wants me to go and I do so want to catch up with her.

However, I just don’t know if I CAN go.

I know, I feel like I’m acting like an immature 13 year old, but it really is quite a dilemma. If I go I'll want to spend the night with Climber Dude, because I wont want to spend the night watching Intellect be all loved up with the new man.

For Scotty

This picture is not of me, it's of some model I found by googling!!!! However, her hairstyle is very similar to what mine is, it's the same colour and mins is slightly longer, mine comes to just below the chin line. But yes, Scotty here's my haircut for you.

Because I'm worth it?

Can you believe that Climber Dude tried to invite himself over Sunday avo?

I found it hard to believe and I told him NO.

I told him he couldn’t come round anymore and the ONLY times we’re to see each other is if we’re out with the same group of friends like we used too!

I felt good, I felt in control, I felt like I had girl power oozzzing out of my skin.

Climber Dude I could tell was arsey that I’d put a stop to things, I don’t think he likes me taking charge or control, I think he expects me to be there everytime he clicks his fingers. Well, he’s clicked his fingers one too many times!

Jerk Boy has been my rock! I tell you, he’s been checking in on me, he’s been proud of me, he’s been giving me so much support it’s unbelievable! He reads me so well, he knows when I’m just saying I’m ok and when I’m not but he doesn’t probe too much because he knows he can’t handle girls that cry. He has been brilliant, but he’s needed me to, as he’s liked a girl for over a year now and he just keeps trying and trying with her and she keeps rejecting him, but in his eyes she’s worth it. He’s so stuck on her it’s unbelievable and I honestly don’t understand why she doesn’t just go for it, he has soooo much he can offer.

Jerk Boy is a little nerdy, he is a walking brain, he works shifts for my company, managing projects but he also is studying a masters at the same time. Seriously when he’s 30 there is no doubt in my mind he will be earning mega $$$$$$.

Jerk Boy is good looking, he’s tall, slender but I’ve noticed he’s been working out more lately as his arms are definitely getting more muscley and I find myself stroking them when we talk sometimes.

He is a little arrogant (he has reason to be) but he is also very caring, which he’s proved these last few weeks as I’ve been going through some stuff. He doesn't have much common sense but super intelligent people rarely do.

He has a great sense of humour although it is a unique sense of humour and not everyone gets it, I get it though, we do both have the habit of carrying on a joke a little too long, and when I say too long I’m talking months not minutes.

Anyone would think if he’s so great why don’t I like him? I could ask myself why I don’t. I used to, Gosh I wanted him so bad a few years back, but now I see him as my little brother, my faithful friend, the person who’s a constant in my life, the person who has always been truthful and straight with me no matter how much it may hurt. And no I don’t have romantic feelings for him, but I really do believe he’s a great catch and I think this girl who keeps turning him down is a fool, because she’s turning someone down who will literally do anything for her.

I may not want Jerk Boy, but I do want someone to go after me the way Jerk Boy goes after his girl. I haven’t met anyone who will put in that much effort for me since Teddy…

God I miss Teddy. If only... If only.

I can't sleep

I hate this time of month where flutuated sleep kicks in. Boo.

Dusty girl

I am doing sooo good.

I'm shocked at myself I've avoided Climber Dude, some friends are round there now having a meal but I am not. I have infact this evening attacked my bedroom, my folks are coming over tomorrow to help me decorate my room. I am shockingly bad at that sort of stuff. Wow do I collect stuff, had my tape stereo from my first ever car that I bought when I was 17 still and then I had the cd stereo that I replaced it was. I think my aim was always to sell them on ebay but never got round to it. My car has a built in cd stereo now so I don't have any need for them.

Oh and I attacked my wardrobe and threw out 2 huge sack fulls of clothes, I am not a huge horder but I do tend to attach memories to lots of stuff and therefore just find certain things hard to bin. Like my favourite outfit that I wore when I was 20 and the ex used to think I looked so darn sexy in it, the thing is I'm slightly slimmer now and the fashion has changed I'd never wear it now but looking at the pin strip back trousers and the sparlily silver top with big red flowers on made me remember some very romantic evenings.

Anyway, I got ruthless nad binned heaps. Seriously loads of sack fulls and so much cardboard to recycle tomorrow.

So the plan for tomorrow, mum and dad come over, start sanding the skirting boards extra, I go get a haircut - I've had it booked for ages so shoot me down, I get back and decorate a little, then me and dad watch the 6nations rugby leaving mum to finish off. Ok I'll prob have the rugby on while I work. GO ENGLAND. woot.