The Suit

I've been itching for The Suit to visit the offices again. And... He hasn't!

Ass hole!

I spoke to Biker today. What an idiot I am. I've come away feeling terrible I went and cried in the bathroom. The guy is fucking twat!!!!

I wish Mr Tall was online. I really do....

Why did I have to speak to him it had been a whole week of no contact why did I have to ruin that. Why? Why?

I was doing so well. I really thought I was putting him and my feeling behind me and then bang I talk to him and he's an idiot AND I was tempted to tell him that and then stopped myself.

His response to me was "It's been a while I've been meaning to catch up with you" No you fucking haven't. YOu've been on skype every day for the last few days and you havent spoken to me so how have you been meaning to catch up with me.... How?

GOD HE FUCKING ANNOYED ME.

When I realised how pent up I was getting I kept the conversation short and told him I had to get back to work he then said...

"We'll have to have a decent catch up soon".

The way he makes me feels a decent catch up would be me telling him he's a fucking ass hole and no different to any other guy.

He must have been having cybersex with me while getting it on with this new girl. Gosh if I wasn't a nice person I'd so want to screw things up for him but as I am a nice person I'll just rant my anger out here.

Biker from NZ you made me feel like I was the only girl in the world and then screwed me over and now I feel like a complete tool. I won't allow you to ever make me feel that way again. Ass hole

Progress!

Remember this guy http://grettajameshassecrets.blogspot.com/2011/09/hot-hot-hotty.html well I'm going to call him The Suit.

The Suit was in our offices yesterday. He was here to have a meeting with a bunch of people that my boss had set up for him and this project idea. Anyway I was on meet and greet duty and he had to leave slightly earlier than some of the others to get back to his day job and finally managed to speak to him.

I said "how did it go?"

He said "yeah good just I have to get back to work now"

And then I let him go. I view those 4 words without blushing as progress!

Mr Tall my angel!

Mr Tall has been fucking brilliant!

I told him all about Biker and how lonely I'd been and basically spilled my heart out to him and he just understood.

He is now there for me like you wouldn't believe. If I feel the need to contact Biker I instead contact Mr Tall. He's patient with me, he lets me be sad.

Today Biker was on Skype and Mr Tall was on facebook. I was so desperate to talk to Biker so I spoke to Mr Tall instead. Mr Tall chatted to me until Biker had signed off. And even though I was disappointed the Biker hadn't initiated a conversation with me I didn't mind quite so much because I just felt like Mr Tall, in that moment, looked after me. And in that moment, that is exactly what I needed.

Who's number 1? Not me!

I hate the way I'm no longer Biker's number one.

There was once a time he'd jump at the chance to skype me now he's on there, letting me see him on there and I know he's talking to her and not me and I wonder what thehy talk about and I half want it to go wrong and then because of distance want it to work for him.

I hate that I'm not his number 1 anymore and I can't wait until he's not mine.

Pulled it back.....

Thankfully, I sent Biker a message saying I'd joined hte dating site on his recommendation and had a sneaky peek at his profile. He messaged me back asking how I was finding the site.

So, all in all. Turns out well.

Haven't mentioned stalking her too but don't think really there was any need.

Phewwy it. Perfect Save!

And Scotty. I miss you x

Shit panic back

Just looked at his profile again to see when he last logged on and it said

"Biker currently online"

SHIT SHIT SHIT.

Although hopefully she's not and he'll know I stalked him. I guess.

panic over

I found the option to turn off the thing so members cant see that I've viewed their profile.

Although my profile has had another 5 hidden views within 20minutes and Biker is still online so it could be him.

Oh well what's done.. is done.

Online Dating Drama of a stalking kind! Whoops

As far as idiotic decisions go. I've mad an epic one this evening.

EPIC!!!!!

I have to admit I've been rather curious about Biker's other woman and all through our online lover/friendship/cybersex thing we have stalked each other. He's read my blog (not this blog), he'd found my facebook page, he'd looked into me. And I'd done the same with him I'd found him on his biking sites and facebook stalked him. We have both been honest about the way we stalk each other it's just what we do.

Yet this evening as I was sat here looking at him on Skype realising he had no intention to strike up conversation with me I got curious about this other woman. I know he she is on facebook because I pinpointed the time he added her as the time he got distant from me and her info that thankfully wasn't private backed up what he'd been telling me. However her profile is private and I wanted to figure out a bit more about her.

Biker had told me the site he'd met her on and it's a worldwide dating site and you can look at other pages in the world so I signed up for a free trial on this site so I could track them down. And also see if there was anyone I'd be interested in as well. Which there happened to be so I emailed him. Hot Guy doesn't live too far from me maybe about an hours drive away. Anyhow back to my point...

I first found Biker on the site, read his profile and there he was the man I'd gotten so close to since Jan sharing himself on this dating site and then I searched for her and true enough her pic resembled the facebook friend.

Then I decided to take a look at my profile and that's when panic set in. YOu know the panic when stalking just goes a bit wrong......

Gretta James 2 people have viewed your profile to see who "click here"

I clicked and sure enough my name appeared and so did a 55 year old grey man. This isn't why I was panicking.

If that's on my profile it is also gona be on Biker's profile and it is also gona be on her profile. I think she's going to find it slightly odd that a girl in the UK has been looking at her profile pic and if she puts two and two together or is as good at stalking as me then she's gona know I'm on Biker's facebook page.

Time to change my facebook profile pic to something very obscure.

I have a funny feeling Biker isn't going to be too pleased if he finds out about this and I'm not sure how I can hide it :s

Hot hot hotty!

There's this guy (not biker). This guy is a guy that has been having meetings with my boss. He's good looking, he is always well dressed -suited with nice shoes. He's an accountant as a day job but he's trying to get our company on board with a project he's starting up. Unfortunately it's not something our company is interested in but he seems to have hit it off with the boss and I've been seeing him about the offices fairly frequently.

It would be a lie if I said I didn't fancy him slightly but our contact is always so brief.

Anyway, I've looked at his finger adn there is no ring on it. I've looked up his facebook page and he doesn't use it frequently but nor does it say he's taken.

I don't really know why I've investigated him because everytime he's around shy Gretta kicks in. I don't know how to flirtily converse with him. The nack disappears and I turn into this timid girl who he probably thinks is a right dope.

Yet. I can't help but fancy him. So next time he's in I must with all that's within me make conversation with him.

Just have no idea when he's in next and the boss is on his hols. DARN IT!

From online lover to online agony aunt!

I've become an agony aunt.

Now Biker wants to share with me what he likes and what he dislikes about his new venture.....

Apparently she's full on and is pressuring him to be in a relationship which he's not sure he's ready for but then... She's jsut an extrovert and maybe he's reading too much into it.

Well what is she?

Anyway I told him honesty is the best policy although they chat heaps online they've only actually had 2 dates. It is ok for it tp take a little longer before jumping straight in. Be honest with her.

He says it's not love at first sight for him but he'll take each day as it ocmes and see if it grows.

Thats all he really can do!

How dare he!

As Biker was out on his second official date with this girl he's met I was at home wishing he was online. When he finally appeared he congratulated England's win on the rugby. Which made me knew he'd been thinking of me. He even told me I was the reason he was online.

However, tonight is a different matter as he gets up to start today our conversation faded out and as our conversation faded I knew it was because he was in a conversation with the other girl on facebook.

Geez I've never met the guy how is he having this darn effect on em? its stupid. I know I have to back away and let him get on with this new girl but I don't want to I kind of watned to keep him until I meet someone. How dare he meet someone first. How dare he!

Biker's confession

Things with Biker adn I haven't been the same since he said he wanted to be "Just" friends with no funny business.

I remember not really understanding at the time but it's become clearer and clearer.

Today I asked him straight out

Gretta: we said if we ever met someone else we'd be honest with each other because of the distance between us. I can't help but think that you must have met someone else, you can be honest with me I will be ok.

Biker: You're right I have met someone else. I met her on a dating site and she lives not far from me and you live over the otherside of the world. I've only met her once and to be honest I don't know if she's the one but I feel like I shouldn't rule it out

We continued talking for some time and he shared her good and bad points with me so far part of me felt that he'd continued to talk to me to keep his options open but the other part of me is really happy that he's met someone. I didn't realise how online you could feel so close to someone who lives so far away and one point I felt everso close to him and now I just feel like it's the end of an era. A darn good era it was tho....

To be honest there is one hting I know... If he had met me this woman wouldn't even be in the picture. There was an underlying tone all through out conversation and the tone was "she's not you" I didn't let him know that I knew what he was implying tho I just encouraged him to go for it secretly know that she's not me.

I think I want to marry you!

Mr Tall: Hey Gretta guess what?

Gretta: I don't know just tell me

Mr Tall: I stand to make a lot of money on my property. I've had a developer knock on my door offering me over £1,000.000 for it. It's because of the land it's on - they want to use the land.

Gretta: Well that's quite a bit of money so are you gona sell up?

Mr Tall: No. I think I'm gona make them pissed but their offer had too many conditions attached I want something simpler. I've spoken to an estate agent he reckons I could probably get a slightly higher price with less conditions so I'm hanging on. I also found out they'd illegally already made plans if they did own my properly dividing it up into what they want to do - just assuming I am gona sell, well I'm not too impressed with that. As these developers have already bought out both my neighbours. Their gona be sooo pissed when I turn them down.

Gretta: I think I might want to marry you. Obviously for your charm and wit and for no other reason whatsoever!

Nipples

My nipples are telling me one thing and one thing only...

It's cold outside!

Things change

I'm back talking to Biker regularly but things, things are just different now!