The dreaded questions

Gretta? When are you going to get yourself a man? Don't you think it's about time?

After you've gone longer than a year single people begin to ask this question, some people have the tact not to ask knowing it might be a sensitive issue, others don't realise it may cause upset and ask away.

two incidents have happened recently that have really highlighted my single status.

The first being I was at the pub with some of my married friends. Two guys walk in.

Married Friend 1: Gretta did you notice the guys that just walked in you should go talk to them.

Right, that's just lovely, two guys walk in they must be on the pull and I must have noticed them well funnily enough married friend I didn't notice them and nor do I want to go talk to them I came here to spend time with my friends not to pick up guys but yeah I'm single it must occupy my mind all the fucking time right.

The second was my aunty and this incident made me cry. I called her to invite her on a Christmas shopping trip with some of my other aunts and the conversation went a bit like this

Gretta: I wondered if you fancied coming on a christmas shopping trip

Aunty: Gretta isn't it about time you found yourself a nice man

Gretta: well yes but that's not what I'm ringing to talk about

Aunty: you're a pretty and nice girl you should have a man. I saw a guy on tv the other day and thought he'd be perfect for you.

Well that's just fucking great you're trying to set me up with random men you see on tv. I couldn't be bothered with the phone conversation and ended up gutting it short and going to have a cry.

When you hit a certain age people expect you to be taken, if you're not they start to assume you're a lesbian and if you're neither taken or gay they then expect you to hit on every man you see just in case he's the one.

Is it any wonder I've come to the conclusion that I can't be fucking bothered anymore. The men I date screw me over and my female family friends seem to think having a guy screw you over is better than being single or gay. Somehow I'd rather be single and gay then taken with any random Tom, dick or harry.

RANT OVER!

For now (hopefully not ever)

I'm wondering if I'm destined to be single forever.....

I haven't been in a relationship since 2009. In fact I've been single for 2 years and almost 2 months.

I've had a few flirts and I've had a few dates and I've had a few bits of fun. However, 2 years and 2 months this is one heck of a long dry spell to have no inkling of a relationship.

And okay so I might be getting some cyber sex and some interesting conversation but it doesn't (for me) fill that gap of real close intimacy that you have when the man is in your bed next to you, when you're exploring each other and when you're just content to be with someone.

I just guess I always thought I'd have met someone by now but maybe my high standards of wanting to be treated with the respect I deserve are just too darn high. No they're not. I'm not going to settle for the guy who uses me as his mistress, I'm not going to settle for the guy who wants me as an internet frill, I will settle for a guy who commits to me. The reason I can't find that it is probably because last year I think I gave up looking but my theory is if he's worth my time then he'll find me.

For now I'm done with men. And I'm kind of okay with that (for now).

The Suit and the telephone

So The Suit rang today to speak to someone in a different department. I took his call. I didn't realise it was him until he said his name and at the point I didn't feel ready to flirt with him. Dammit.

Why can't I get my flirt on with this guy.

The suit...

The Suit came in the offices today.

I walked down the stairs and there he was in the reception area talking to my boss. I smiled at him and I could see he wanted to speak to me but my boss just kept chatting to him, he mouthed a "hello" to which I replied "hello" and smiled back.

However, the boss was still mid flow and there was no way I could interrupt and no way he could turn to make conversation with me. I continued to walk off to the department I was heading. When I came back he was gone.

The issue I have with The Suit is it's always short and it's always brief and today it was really just "hello".

Let's hope we can get somewhere further but lets stay far away from goodbye.