Don't wana be all by myself anymore.

I found myself getting really depressed and lonely today. It doesn't seem right that all of my friends have busy lives but I myself do not.

I find myself at constant meetings both at work and out of work and actually when I do have a night off and text every single friend I have I find out that they're all busy bar 1 person. That person = Jerk boy. Although he's not a Jerk and although I am thankful for him there is no way on this earth we will spend time alone together both of us have come to the conclusion that for us that is the most unhealthy thing ever.

Which leads me to a night in doing absolutely nothing. Which would usually be great but when you feel like you haven't seen your friends in a while lonliness does seem to set in like a bad smell that you can't shift.

The thing that gets me the most and this is quite funny I spend more time talking to friends that are on the opposite side of the world online than I do to friends that live round the corner who I have been friends with and caught up regularly with for 10 years. They are all settling down and getting busy leaving poor lil me all alone with no one to hang out with bar my internet buddies. No wonder I keep getting crushes on people from the net. I so need to get a hobbie and make some more friends. This is silly I have loads of friends and usually it's me that's the busy one and I can't fit them in. One bad day and I turn into a manic depressive this can't be good.

Me again after some time

Again it seems like it has been a life time since I wrote on this blog! I guess it has.

Things haven't really moved on. I still chat to my someone and he is still with his beautiful girlfriend and life is good. I don't mind just being his friend after all now we've met I wouldn't want to be more than that.

As for jerk guy. I don't find him as jerky as I did actually I have a lot to thank him for you see he taught me something that no one else has. He taugh me to love again and even now I hold a soft spot for him in my heart. It took a lot for me to realise that there were other guys out there than my someone and even though I started looking at the jerk guy in a romantic way and he never had romantic feelings for me it made me realise I could love again.

I am a lot more stable now too. I actually am not interested in any guy which is shocking. I will however keep my options open and if a date does happen to turn up then I certainly won't rule them out. Yet at the moment I am having fun being me.

Well that's it for this instalment.