Royal Wedding

Hada lovely day today, the friends came over...... Jerkboy and his lady frined

Really lovely married couple I know, and a single guy and then me...

I've drunk far too muchwine everyone had left now but I a m still drinking wine, keep crying this is the probem with wine it makes me cry it makes me think when am I gona meet that osmeone then I get upset and then I keep drinking wine. Ig et into this day deram that I wan tsomeone to come along and say it's all gon A be ok but no one ever does because I lieave these sad thoughts until I'm drunk and on my own.

No one ver tellys Gretta it's gona be ok and so Gretta ists ther in tears. Deinking wine. And wondering when, when she'll meet someone who she can love and who will llvoe her back. Someone who wont screw her over and break her heart. She doubts it will ever happeb for her so she drinks wine and trues to forget teh only issue si it makes her remember. She knows how she longs to love someone and be love in return and she remembers that she's screwed up every relationship she's beeen in and questions whether she's worth the love of someone else anyway.

No on e knosz ghd wAy Gretta feels because she doesnt tell any onne who would underatand anyway?>

Stupid wedding, brings hope to everyone else bring drunk sadness to Gretta.

3 weeks to go.

I had a week full of thoughts the main one being

"why did I agree to go to Barcelona to meet Teddy, what am I trying to do to myself".

I've slowly been thinking it's going to be torture meeting Teddy again, it's been 4 long years but that's not it. The problem is I have fallen for this image that he's turned into in my head and I'll go and either shatter the image which will hurt like hell or confirm the image which will eventually hurt like hell when we come to saying goodbye!

I'm booked, I'm going, I can't turn the clock back but why I made this decision now I'll never quite know. Oh well only 3 weeks to go!

Onions. because I think of onions everytime I write the word opinion! Weird.

I got a text from the handsome pilot today it said this....

"After nearly 4 years of absence it's weird being back in *insert my city* again".

I didn't know what to reply - there was no "so do you fancy meeting up for a drink" there was no "I'm here shall we meet?" There was no nothing.

So I replied saying

"What a lovely overcast day for you... Enjoy it".

That was over 2 hours ago and no reply. Part of me so wants the handsome pilot to contact me and arrange a drink, the other part of me thinks he's quite rude I haven't heard from him for about a week no emails, no facebook messages, no texts and now he texts me!!!

But if he does send me a text inviting me for a drink I'll go. If he doesn't I won't. I figure even though he's a well handsome pilot he still has more to lose than me because I'm quite a girl in my humble opinion.

When something grabs you..

I was reading a blog today and within it was these words. "Don't let one player knock you out of the game" This was interesting but I fear I've come across more than my share of players I thought to myself. Then I realised... "If more than one player knock you out of the game then you're clearly playing the wrong game Gretta". Maybe it's time for a new one!

Hates distance

I've been spending heaps of time online talking to Biker. Really have had a connection with him. Shame he lives as far away from me as phsically possible! Even he reckons if we lived in the same place we'd be dating by now. I happen to completely agree. He's lovely!

Just an update

So the Handsome Pilot called last Monday. However, I'd decided to take my mum shopping at the mall because I didn't want to spend my time waiting for his call and when he called he was in an airport waiting for a flight which meant that as we were talking there we PA announcements. I was at the mall and there was also mall noise. All of which meant our conversation lasted for 2 minutes and not any longer than that. The good thing is he sounded really nice and he's planning to be in my city at some point over the next 2 weeks. Actually, I messaged him today to ask when he expected to be here and he said he'd have to check his diary but he thinks it's between the 13th and 15th of April. I had an email waiting for me from Teddy today when I woke up saying that he's planning to book his flight next week. I'm sure his last email said the exact same thing. I'm fairly convinced his next email will say the same thing yet as he's booked his accommodation I'm convinced he's gona be there. Still getting to know Biker. Out of all of the guys I've met recently Biker is the one making the most effort and Biker is the one furthest away. Story of my life!