He's a goner!

Climber Dude has gone away for a week.

It sucks.....

However, in the meantime I plan on hot baths, relaxation, and not doing much at all. Sound good yes?

Musings about men and masterbation!

Last night CD was on the nightshift, 2 girlfriends have been back in my city on their uni holidays, so I invited them round mine for a girly night. That was until JerkBoy contacted me asking if anything was going on. To which I told him he could join us on our girly night.

As soon as JerkBoy arrived the conversation took a little lower tone. Masterbation it would seem was high on JerkBoy's agenda, he started telling me things that I didn't know. Nor did my girlyfriends so I knew I wasn't alone. Now it shocked me more that I didn't know this because I'm no sex prude.... These are the things JerkBoy told me...

1. Men will often wake up with an erection for no reason at all!

Why the heck have I never noticed this? Trust me I wish I had noticed it.

2. Men wont get wet dreams if they masterbate.

I thought that men would still get wet dreams regardless of masterbation

3. Men can control their erection (apart from in the morning it doesn't just happen when the see a girl with clevage).

Which is something I thought some men struggle with.

I don't understand how someone like me can be so misguided about guys. Yet what it's made me realise is, that I now instead of getting frustrated when the guy can't find the clit, I'm just going to guide them without the frustration, because it turns out I don't know as much about the guy as I previously thought either.

The Struggles that are..

I'm unsure if you'll be pleased to know or not but... We've made up. It's still going to take a bit of time to regain trust but we've made up and things feel good for the time being.

I'd just like to say it's really tough going from being single into a relationship, I for one am finding it very difficult. You find yourself struggling with identity, and how to be, and you even find yourself having to make polite chitchat with friends that aren't necessarily friends you'd choose but friends they choose when sometimes you'd just prefer it to be the 2 of you.

It can be hard work. There are lots of single people out there who would love to be in a relationship, but I'll tell you this, it's not easy, it takes time, commitment, consideration, and lots of flexibility. And for some that's hard. Darn hard.

However, sticking with it and getting over that struggles you find that you care about that person, you want to share with them and you want to embrace the things they enjoy and when you do that, life just feels a little less strugglesome.

Adjustment and Balance, will always take time.

It went bang!

I find it hard to believe that I am sat here writing this.

CD and I had a wonderful weekend, wonderful, his parents were very cool, his dad constantly mocked him while his mum made me feel very at home, and then to follow on the long weekend away was fabulous that was..... Until the last day when the conversation went a little like this.

CD: Gretta? How do you feel our relationship is going?
Gretta: I feel it’s going well, I’m happy so that’s gotta be good right.
CD: I really admire that about you that you live your life by what you’re feeling but it’s not always very practical.
Gretta: I think you’ll find most girls live their lives by what they feel, if they're happy they wont feel a need to change, if they're unhappy they'll know something needs changing.. Anyway where has this conversation come from?
CD: ok, well I’m not so sure about us, I feel there is something not right.. I don't know if I see a future for our relationship.

Then after a lot of talking it turns out there are some characteristics in my personality that he doesn’t like. Doesn't everyone have character flaws, like no one is perfect, but I feel that mine are too much for him to handle. So anyway, after a wonderful weekend, it all totally blew up in my face. He’s currently having a few days to “think” about things. I’ve told him I’m willing to try and change for the sake of our relationship but the fact remains that I accept him with his character flaws and I wouldn’t expect him to change. Then today, people have been asking about the weekend and saying things like "I hope CD spoilt you on your birthday" and I just want to cry everytime someone asks.

I just think this might be the end. I emailed Teddy in Australia about it and he ended up calling me, we talked things through on the phone and he thinks that I might be letting my head run away with itself and it’s probably not as bad as I’m making out. I however, think I’m on the verge to going back to being a singleton and I do think it's as bad as I'm making out but still it was good that Teddy took the time to ring and talk me through things.

I just don't understand, we had a lovely time away and then BANG!!!!

The turning of a tide of time!

On Sunday I turn the wrong side of 25. Which means the scary age of 30 is ever getting closer. However, I turn the wrong side of 25 a very long way from my home city, and that somewhat makes me happy.

CD is taking me away to the coast, we hope to to do some coastal walking, maybe some surfing and even some seal or dolphine watching, it all sounds fabulous. Bar the British weather forecast, as it is predicted to rain from Saturday to Tuesday, the whole time we're away. Bloody typical. I'm prepared to get wet.

On our way we are going to stop off at CD's parent's house, they're doing us a roast for dinner, we're sleeping there tonight and then continuing our journey tomorrow. I've only met his folks once before and that was when we were just friends, and I didn't really make that much of an effort so now I'm meeting them as the gf I'm pretty nervous about it. Yep pretty nervous. I'm also pretty sure it'll go fine, I'll be on my best behaviour. Keep telling myself it's one night before going on somewhere else. It'll be fine. This is the worst part about being in a relationship, the meeting of the parents.

Anyway, I'll have a glass of wine for you all so you can celebrate me being closer to 30 than 20. Hooorah!!!

How things change!

I cannot even recall what my last blog was.

So who knows.

Anyway, myself and CD are doing great at the moment, we went walking over the weekend, got in some quality time with each other, got absolutely drenched in the rain, so much so that water was dripping off our eye lashes and even our waterproofs could not keep out the rain, but snogging, while dripping wet is a heap of fun.

We’ve been discussing lately our plans for next year, we’re talking about going away next year and doing a bit of travel, maybe even combining it with some humanitarian work. It’s something we’d both really like to do. CD’s work is really good, his boss is encouraging a career break. Shockingly my boss has been great too, but wants me to find someone in the company to replace me. Interesting!!! There is no-one, he knows it. I know it. But I have a plan, I think I know someone capable they're just not in the company!

Anyway it’s exciting times for us. However, with moving forward in one area I feel as if I am leaving parts of my past behind...

I feel like Best Friend and I have drifted apart lately and feel it’s too far gone to repair. It saddens me somewhat, I guess I thought we’d always be friends but guess I’m not feeling it right now. Like I don’t even know why I think this way but I always thought if I were ever to get married then Best Friend would be my bridesmaid and I’m sure she’s always thought that too, but lately, I feel as if she’s not put much effort in, in fact every bit of contact between us. I make. I mean I was conscious about being now in a relationship and didn’t want it to affect our friendship. So I tried to make even more effort but just lately I feel she’s not bothered and therefore I’m just not convinced I can be bothered. Oh and I have no plans to get married.

I just guess I feel everything is changing.

I hardly see Intellect anymore although we banter by email all the time and currently are trying to arrange a double date between her and her man and me and CD. Teddy is still in touch but it’s a tough one there, he says he’s “given up on girls” which I can’t help but wonder is a dig at me but considering he lives on the otherside of the world and has never attempted to do anything about the distance between us that meant that we could never be together. So, I dunno, he says he's happy that I'm happy, but I get the impression he feels like he missed the boat. He did miss the boat, there were things he could have done that would have made him mine. He didn't do them!

The one thing that hasn’t changed I feel is Jerk Boy and my friendshio with him, in fact Jerk Boy has been really great, making effort with CD as well and now their friendship is stronger than it was before. We even hang out as a 3 sometimes and Jerk Boy doesn't find it awkward at all..

I guess with plans of going away next year things were always going to change, I just guess it’s weird not being able to banter and have fun with the one person you class as you best friend, the one person you used to tell everything to the one person who now makes you feel like your an effort to even be bothered with, and the one person who right now you can’t be bothered with.

Can't get a thing right!

CD has been irritable most of the weekend, he claims he's tired, which is understandable coz he's
had some cranky shifts. I don't like it when he's irritable it feels like he tells me off a lot.

Telling me off number 1. Don't stroke my arm it annoys me. (sorry I was just showing I care)

Telling off number 2: I told him I'd accidently scratched my back wheel arch on my car on a wall when I was coming out of a tight carpark, he then started telling me how to drive... I've been driving longer than he has, it was just a little accident and it's my car, not his so why is he telling me off. There are more important things in life than the bloody car.

Telling off number 3: I pulled his face round to look at me so I could kiss him, I kissed him twice but then he pushed me away telling me that I'd strained his neck. It was a funny angle so I'm sure I did strain his neck but it just made me feel so bad.

Telling off number 4: He says at 9.50pm I'm tired so I'm kicking you out. Ok so it's not a telling off as such but after the previous telling offs it just made me feel that all I had been to him all day long was an irritation.

I dunno maybe I am an irritation.

smitten!

Let me just tell you.

Last night was amazing. Sex lull now well and truly over.

We were planning on having a movie marathon, and we did watch the first Batman but I fell asleep during it. CD had done a night shift the night before so instead of going to the cinema we went out for a drink at a country pub for an hour and then went back to his. And had a night of passion.

Which in my opinion was needed. He's now working today and he's gona come over after work. I'm going to cook up a storm. The one issue is I'd love a repeat of last night but now I live with my parents, I'm not thinking that's gona be a possibility.

PANTS!

We've decided to go away next weekend, and we're going away the weekend after too, so we've got 2 weekends' away for just the 2 of us, which I think I'm going to enjoy lots and will hopefully only strengthen our relationship. I feel happy.

Film Fest - Movie Marathon

CD and I have different tastes in films so what we do is we take it in turns to choose what we see at the cinema. It works.

Anyway, tonight is his choice, and he's chosen Batman... Should be fine!

Then JerkBoy asked if we'd seen the first one. We hadn't.

He's now given CD the DVD. So tonight we're watching both Batmans in a row. I've been told the first Batman is naff, so I'm planning to sleep through it. What? I'm tired!