Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Oh no Gretta not another one.

Random guy has text me a fair bit since last week although I have backed off a lot. It's slightly freaky.

I have also started talking to another guy. We'll name him Batman. I have a confession to make. I've met Batman online, I know not another internet guy!! Yet Batman, is gorgeous, seriously if you saw Batman he'd make your toes curl just by looking at him. We have been chatting on our webcams and laughing loads together. He's recently just out of a relationship so I am thinking he could be slightly screwed up but we have so much in common that it's scary.

We enjoy similar sports, we have the same sense of humour and what I can make out we have a very similar life ethos - we seem to be in agreement when discussing deeper topics, very similar morals and perspectives.

He lives in a different city but he visits my city heaps because his dad lives nearby and has lots of friends in the area.

We're just chatting at the moment and having a laugh that's all I really want and is what I am enjoying. He is handsome though, but I think he's a little cocky with it. Pilot was humbly handsome, Batman seems to be more of a vain handsome but if that's his only fault then I can't go too wrong - can I?

If we stay in contact long enough maybe we'll meet one day that would be kind of cool.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

The streets have no name!

So, Random guy, kind of put me in a possition yesterday where I couldn't say no to meeting him. I hate being put in possitions where I can't say no but I really had only one option and that was to say yes. So last night he came to my house and we chatted for ages. We got on well, and he seems like a nice guy. He had nice eyes but I can't say he's overly attractive although his eyes do capture you, they're extremely dark. We ended up chatting til gone midnight. I guess it was ok. He's back in his city now so I wont see him for a while and it just so happens he's going to be living and working abroad in September teaching English. So, I doubt I'll see him again now and I have to say I'm again not bothered, I think he possibly may have been more interested in me than me interested in him - That's first.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

My secret 'love' life!

When I originally started "my secret life" it was suppose to be a place where I could air all of my thoughts, not just my 'man' thoughts. I guess I should have titled it "my secret 'love' life" cos really that's what this has turned into.

I haven't seen Jerk boy in a while and I think that's for the best - I usually catch up with him on weekends but I am out of town this weekend visiting friends so the time a part should do me good. I haven't spoken to the guy I was flirting with either for the past few days so he may have figured me out.

A random guy gave me his phone number yesterday - pretty out of the blue. Again he's another young one but he's older than Pilot. He's only just over 2 years younger than me whereas Pilot was over 4 years younger than me. He seems like a nice guy we had a text conversation last night and he came across as really sweet. He lives about an hour and halfs drive away, it's not idea but it also not impossible either. Even if nothing happens I can already see that he's be a good friend to have. So, you never know if he calls me and we get to know each other a bit better things could be all good.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Why does it hurt so bad.

I found out this evening that Jerk boy likes a friend of mine. She's stunning so it doesn't surprise me. It's just before everything happened between me and him he asked her out and she'd turned him down. Apparently he still likes her. It hurts.

I've been so foolish because it hurts I have started flirting with someone else. He's actually a really great guy but I fear that the only reason I am flirting with him is because of Jerk guy and I can't stop myself he gives me confidence and I need that.

It hurts and I am mad, but not at Jerk boy. I'm mad at myself. Grrrrrrrrr I wish I was over him.

Back on top

Well, my depression has lifted and the sun seems to be peaking through the grey clouds.

I've moved on from Pilot and also Climber dude, in fact Climber dude is just so no in every sense.

As for Jerk boy I still haven't properly moved on from him, not sure I will but alls good on the friendship front he hasn't annoyed or frustrated me lately so that's a plus.

My someone, is still my someone, my true friend.

Now I am over my depression I am going to enjoy life.

Happy with myself at last. See how long it lasts shall we!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Is it too much to ask for?

I don't think the date with Climber dude went very well. He was different on a one on one than I thought and to be honest I think we bored each other and to be even more honest I think it just confirmed we have nothing at all in common.

Last night I had depression sweep over me. I'm lonely lately, it's like I just need a man's touch, a man's shoulder, a man who understands me. I guess I must be pretty hard to understand.

I got some photos back the other day and Pilot was in them, he looked so dashing and his shoulders looked so inviting. I yearn for his shoulders to rest my head on. I feel like I've taken so many punches lately that all I need is someone to allow me to rest my heavy head on their strong shoulders and take on some of the weight for a while.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Freaking out.

Another unexpected happening in my life. I am going out for a drink with Climber dude tomorrow night. I'm scared. I feel vulnerable. I wasn't expecting it.

I am feeling these things because he's different. He doesn't live far away, he isn't a jerk and we get on surprisingly well. This scares me why, because it could actually work. Why should I be so freaked out by this, but I so am it's not funny.

I'll let you know how tomorrow night goes - when I know.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

An unexpected dilemma!

Last night's double date with the climber dude actually went better than I thought. Now that I wasn't expecting. We laughed and I wasn't uncomfortable with the fact it felt like a 2 couples thing. I'm still convinced we have nothing in common but last night felt kind of good and I can't disregard that either.

He's actually coming away with me and some friends in 2 week's time and we said we'd meet up a few days before we go to get the food and stuff together. I dunno after our time away in a few week's time we may really dislike each other. I guess I'll just have to wait and see how things go but I don't feel scared anymore and that's gotta be good thing right?!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

My love interests, there's been a few.

The weekend's been and gone and along with it so has Pilot. I actually went out with Pilot's brother Saturday night but never got to see Pilot. He'd gone on some booze drinking daytrip and wasn't due back until really late. Pilot's now out of my life as I doubt he'll be in my home town for some time and I am thinking we'll go back to seeing each other once every 6 months like we used to.

As for Jerk boy he's now back in time and more jerkier than ever - he's really got on my nerves since getting home and I am quite relieved that I probably wont see him now until the weekend. That's unless decides to randomly pop up and visit me. I am hoping he's got more sense than that though as he knows I am pissed at him.

I am going on a double date type thing tonight, with my best friend, her fiance and a mutual friend. I don't think I fancy this guy - for blogging purposes we'll call him Climber dude. He's into climbing you see. I don't feel as if we have anything at all in common so I can't really see it progressing but as you can clearly see I don't rule out anything. So far in this blog we have covered...

1. An internet guy - my someone
2. A friend so good he's almost like a brother - Jerk boy
3. A guy 4 years younger and a good mate's brother - Pilot
and now..
4. A friend that I have nothing in common iwth - Climber Dude.

You can't say I rule people out. I'll give anyone a chance if they show interest or ask for a chance but if I feel it's wrong or wont work. I'll be blunt and to the point too, there's no point in wasting time on something that can't go on.