presents.

I've been pretty unwell over Christmas, however, before Christmas I went to a little gather of people. CD wasn't there but he'd got someone going to pass on a present to me.

It was wrapped but clearly a book.

I wasn't feeling very well so left early. I got home to find that the present wasn't with me and I must have left it at the house I was at. So I text them to say I'd accidentally left it there and to give it to Jerk Boy who would pass it on to me.

Jerk Boy and another one of our friends lets call him Joker, got the present and decided to try and guess the title of the book.

Apparently they came up with

"Sometimes it's hard to say I'm sorry"

and

"How to lose a bad boyfriend in 10 days"

Truth is he bought me a book by an author I liked, it's actually up there with some of the best presents he's ever got me, because he obviously listened when I told him that I liked the author. I was actually, much to my own disgust, impressed by CD's choice.

Although I would have found how to lose a bad boyfriend in 10days useful because it took me a lot longer than 10days.

And best friend bought me a mug which said "it's better to have loved and lost than to live with a phsycho for the rest of your life"

I laughed.

Being Set Up

Bestfriend has come up with a plan.

She knows a lady from her work who is lovely, her husband is lovely, and they have a 31 year old, single, son.

Bestfriend has managed to get her, her hubby, me an invite to this lady's house on the 27th December because her son is home for Christmas with the main aim to set me and her son up. We're going to take the Wii and have a games night, hopefully to take off the pressure, but my Bestfriend has told me I have to bring out the Gretta charm. I did tell her that the Gretta charm hasn't come out of the bag since before CD and Bestfriend said, Gretta you and I both know you're more than capable of pulling that charm out when you need to. So you need to pull it out.

This guy is studying to be a doctor in computer systems or something but from another city, he sounds ridiculously intelligent. Anyway, she's told this lady at her work (who I have met on the odd occasion the plan) and she loves the idea, she said she thinks I'm adorable and she's ready for grandchildren.

hello we haven't even been set up yet, but at least I have the mother in law on side, that makes a change usually mothers hate me. I have no idea why that is.

So yeah, I'm kind of being set up. We're going to nickname this guy Goliath because he's about 7ft tall, yeah I'm serious, he is ridiculously tall, scarily tall in fact, possibly the tallest person I'll ever come across in my life.

Anyway, so I'll keep you posted on how it goes with Goliath, my Bestfriend thinks that his parents are lovely, he'll be lovely, and she wants it to work for us, I think she has high hopes, but I've figured one thing out over the years, Bestfriend is usually a really good judge of character and I probably trust her more than I trust myself when it comes to the male of the species.

So watch this space.

Bye bye baby bye bye...

I think Teddy has a girlfriend.

Since CD and I broke up, Teddy and I have been in a bit of contact, not loads, but a bit.

Anyways, I kind of facebook stalked him, and managed to get on to one of his friends page and she had some pics of him with a rather attractive blonde and lets just say it looked like they were extremely close. Extremely close.

Let me tell you, my heart hurt.

Deep down I know that Teddy and I would never get together, he lives in Australia for goodness sake, but he's just always been the guy I connected with in a big way, and the guy who has been there when I needed him.

The whole time I've known him he's never had a relationship, always working ridiculously hard, partying hard, wanting to commit but not seeming able to. He's kind of me, but with it loving, caring, generous, and I guess I just thought while he was single there was still hope.

I know Australia is the otherside of the world and to think there is still hope is silly but he sometimes works in the UK, ok I know he hasn't since 2007 but he said he might have to work over here again in 2010. So I was holding out hope.

Anyway, now it looks as if he's taken and as a result of that. I have to accept one thing. Teddy whether in the UK or Australia, isn't available anymore. maybe, if I'm right. They do look incredibly close in the pictures.

So if that's the case I must move on. Trouble is, I never thought I'd have to move on from Teddy. He might be far away, and we might sometimes loose touch but truth is he's always been here. always.

A name I haven't mentioned in a loooooonnnngggg time...

But a friend who has never left my side.

You all must remember JerkBoy, he really shouldn't be called JerkBoy because he's been one of the most steadfast, supportive people in my life and ok once I fancied him, he led me on, made me think we'd get it on and we didn't and because Gretta doesn't like rejection named him JerkBoy, but since that day. Our friendship blossomed we both knew where we stood, and we're still standing.

So no I haven't mentioned JerkBoy here for a long time, but, in my life he's been a constant.

Last night I had a serious Climber Dude moment, I started freaking out thinking he'd met someone else, thinking our friends knew and hadn't told me, whether true or not it was a totally irrational freakout to the extreme. Kept me up all night wondering.

So, when I got to work this morning the first thing I thought to do was to email JerkBoy, if anyone can talk some sense into me then JerkBoy is the person to do and boy let me tell you he did not fail....

Here is our email conversation if you so care to read it...

___

Email 1: Gretta to JerkBoy

Hey JerkBoy

How are you doing today?

I have a question for you do you know if or do you possibly think that CD has either met someone else or has a new girlfriend?

If you could let me know that would be great.

Thanks

____

Email 2: Jerkboy to Gretta

Hey Gretta

I'm good. Not really too busy at the moment - work is sparse.

I haven't heard anything. Why do you ask? I don't think he's seeing anyone either. Unless it's Sarah!! lol. I'm laughing because that sounds ridiculous, but maybe it's true!
____

SIDE NOTE: Climber Dude is currently lodging with a family they have a daughter called Sarah (she's beautiful a lot younger than me). JerkBoy knows Sarah because she was a few years below him at school and they were in some music group together.

___

Email 3: Gretta to Jerkboy

I've been pretty good on the whole CD front so unsure where it came from, but you know CD was in touch with me a few weeks back? And I got a little funny about it well I was speaking to a girlfriend about it and she said to me "it sounds to me as if he has something he wants to say to you".

For some odd reason and I don't know where it came from but I suddenly wondered if he'd met someone else and had started giving them more than he gave me and I then questioned if he did have something to say was it that he'd met someone else and he wanted to let me know.

Sarah did flash through my mind as well, I thought well if he did have a girl because he finds it difficult getting on a deeper level with people then she'd probably have to be close to him, because it took AGES for him to get on a deeper level with me. His mate told me he'd been off ill the other day so he would have been around the house alot. So they'd get plenty of time together.

To be honest I just thought if everyone else knows something that i don't I'd be really hurt, so just wanted to check with you first. The thought of it did hurt but I think that it's a bit inevitable when the ex meets someone else it could well hurt a little.

I guess i'm probably completely well off the mark, and I'm thinking my thoughts went in overdrive, I'm feeling all a little stressed and anxious, so everything builds up. One minute it feels like I'm moving on, but at the same time as moving on I suddenly feel scared. It's bizarre.
____

Email 4: Jerkboy to Gretta - (the one that made me feel like a zillion dollars)

Gretta

You can't beat yourself up over it. He's a muppet for not making it work.
You're right when you say that you're too good for him. No one else could've made it work for as long as you did.

I understand that if he is with someone else, it will hurt, but you guys lasted a pretty long time (mainly because of your saint-like patience) so I don't think that even if he was with another girl, that it would last as long as you guys did.

Judging by the way he doesn't seem to know what he wants, I'm going to say it wouldn't last more than a couple of months. A new lady wouldn't be quite as understanding as you are!

But I don't think he's got a lady. He's just been ill!
___________________

It was just what I needed to hear, then I realised I was crying and then it all added up..

1. Irrational thoughts
2. Sleepless nights
3. Crying due to a nice email

Of course... I'm bloody premenstrual.