How things change!

I cannot even recall what my last blog was.

So who knows.

Anyway, myself and CD are doing great at the moment, we went walking over the weekend, got in some quality time with each other, got absolutely drenched in the rain, so much so that water was dripping off our eye lashes and even our waterproofs could not keep out the rain, but snogging, while dripping wet is a heap of fun.

We’ve been discussing lately our plans for next year, we’re talking about going away next year and doing a bit of travel, maybe even combining it with some humanitarian work. It’s something we’d both really like to do. CD’s work is really good, his boss is encouraging a career break. Shockingly my boss has been great too, but wants me to find someone in the company to replace me. Interesting!!! There is no-one, he knows it. I know it. But I have a plan, I think I know someone capable they're just not in the company!

Anyway it’s exciting times for us. However, with moving forward in one area I feel as if I am leaving parts of my past behind...

I feel like Best Friend and I have drifted apart lately and feel it’s too far gone to repair. It saddens me somewhat, I guess I thought we’d always be friends but guess I’m not feeling it right now. Like I don’t even know why I think this way but I always thought if I were ever to get married then Best Friend would be my bridesmaid and I’m sure she’s always thought that too, but lately, I feel as if she’s not put much effort in, in fact every bit of contact between us. I make. I mean I was conscious about being now in a relationship and didn’t want it to affect our friendship. So I tried to make even more effort but just lately I feel she’s not bothered and therefore I’m just not convinced I can be bothered. Oh and I have no plans to get married.

I just guess I feel everything is changing.

I hardly see Intellect anymore although we banter by email all the time and currently are trying to arrange a double date between her and her man and me and CD. Teddy is still in touch but it’s a tough one there, he says he’s “given up on girls” which I can’t help but wonder is a dig at me but considering he lives on the otherside of the world and has never attempted to do anything about the distance between us that meant that we could never be together. So, I dunno, he says he's happy that I'm happy, but I get the impression he feels like he missed the boat. He did miss the boat, there were things he could have done that would have made him mine. He didn't do them!

The one thing that hasn’t changed I feel is Jerk Boy and my friendshio with him, in fact Jerk Boy has been really great, making effort with CD as well and now their friendship is stronger than it was before. We even hang out as a 3 sometimes and Jerk Boy doesn't find it awkward at all..

I guess with plans of going away next year things were always going to change, I just guess it’s weird not being able to banter and have fun with the one person you class as you best friend, the one person you used to tell everything to the one person who now makes you feel like your an effort to even be bothered with, and the one person who right now you can’t be bothered with.