A name I haven't mentioned in a loooooonnnngggg time...

But a friend who has never left my side.

You all must remember JerkBoy, he really shouldn't be called JerkBoy because he's been one of the most steadfast, supportive people in my life and ok once I fancied him, he led me on, made me think we'd get it on and we didn't and because Gretta doesn't like rejection named him JerkBoy, but since that day. Our friendship blossomed we both knew where we stood, and we're still standing.

So no I haven't mentioned JerkBoy here for a long time, but, in my life he's been a constant.

Last night I had a serious Climber Dude moment, I started freaking out thinking he'd met someone else, thinking our friends knew and hadn't told me, whether true or not it was a totally irrational freakout to the extreme. Kept me up all night wondering.

So, when I got to work this morning the first thing I thought to do was to email JerkBoy, if anyone can talk some sense into me then JerkBoy is the person to do and boy let me tell you he did not fail....

Here is our email conversation if you so care to read it...

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Email 1: Gretta to JerkBoy

Hey JerkBoy

How are you doing today?

I have a question for you do you know if or do you possibly think that CD has either met someone else or has a new girlfriend?

If you could let me know that would be great.

Thanks

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Email 2: Jerkboy to Gretta

Hey Gretta

I'm good. Not really too busy at the moment - work is sparse.

I haven't heard anything. Why do you ask? I don't think he's seeing anyone either. Unless it's Sarah!! lol. I'm laughing because that sounds ridiculous, but maybe it's true!
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SIDE NOTE: Climber Dude is currently lodging with a family they have a daughter called Sarah (she's beautiful a lot younger than me). JerkBoy knows Sarah because she was a few years below him at school and they were in some music group together.

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Email 3: Gretta to Jerkboy

I've been pretty good on the whole CD front so unsure where it came from, but you know CD was in touch with me a few weeks back? And I got a little funny about it well I was speaking to a girlfriend about it and she said to me "it sounds to me as if he has something he wants to say to you".

For some odd reason and I don't know where it came from but I suddenly wondered if he'd met someone else and had started giving them more than he gave me and I then questioned if he did have something to say was it that he'd met someone else and he wanted to let me know.

Sarah did flash through my mind as well, I thought well if he did have a girl because he finds it difficult getting on a deeper level with people then she'd probably have to be close to him, because it took AGES for him to get on a deeper level with me. His mate told me he'd been off ill the other day so he would have been around the house alot. So they'd get plenty of time together.

To be honest I just thought if everyone else knows something that i don't I'd be really hurt, so just wanted to check with you first. The thought of it did hurt but I think that it's a bit inevitable when the ex meets someone else it could well hurt a little.

I guess i'm probably completely well off the mark, and I'm thinking my thoughts went in overdrive, I'm feeling all a little stressed and anxious, so everything builds up. One minute it feels like I'm moving on, but at the same time as moving on I suddenly feel scared. It's bizarre.
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Email 4: Jerkboy to Gretta - (the one that made me feel like a zillion dollars)

Gretta

You can't beat yourself up over it. He's a muppet for not making it work.
You're right when you say that you're too good for him. No one else could've made it work for as long as you did.

I understand that if he is with someone else, it will hurt, but you guys lasted a pretty long time (mainly because of your saint-like patience) so I don't think that even if he was with another girl, that it would last as long as you guys did.

Judging by the way he doesn't seem to know what he wants, I'm going to say it wouldn't last more than a couple of months. A new lady wouldn't be quite as understanding as you are!

But I don't think he's got a lady. He's just been ill!
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It was just what I needed to hear, then I realised I was crying and then it all added up..

1. Irrational thoughts
2. Sleepless nights
3. Crying due to a nice email

Of course... I'm bloody premenstrual.