Spewing 30!

So, as I gracefully left my twenty somethings and turned 30.

Something else suddenly hit me, apparently something that comes with age.  All of a sudden I couldn't handle my drink!

So Saturday night I went out drinking with my man and heaps of friends like 14 of us or something.

I hit the cocktails I was 30 I was allowed right?

However, boyfriend worked out by the end of the night I must have had at least 10 shots.  I was tipsy but I wasn't smashed by any way shape or form.

Then 1pm the next day came, I ate lunch, could I stomach lunch.  Nooooo.  I spewed.  Then I spewed again, then 2 hours later I spewed and then an hour later I spewed again.  I felt rough the whole day.

It was one of those "I am NEVER drinking again" moments.  Apart from this time I may actually be telling the truth.  Oh who am I fucking kidding? Where's the bacardi?

Bridesmaids...

My advice to anyone getting married or planning a wedding is.....

Just don't have bridesmaids = far too much hassle.

In other news I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!

On a more serious note choosing bridesmaids was a task I have like 8 people 1 sister and 7 friends that all qualify for bridesmaid status.  Well I couldn't have 8 bridesmaids - cant.afford.it.. So I cut it to 3 but hten I had to choose the 3.  Thankfully my sister had a little girl so my niece will be flower girl and I sadly chopped my sis out not that she minded.  She's been married twice and I wasn't her bridesmaid at either wedding.

The 3 I chose I know will be brilliant 3 close friends but they're all married and all busy.

Bridesmaid 1: Is flexible and willing to do any date I ask for dress trying on
Bridesmaid 2: Is heavily pregnant, works Saturdays and only free on one of her days off in the next 5 weeks.
Bridesmaid 3: had a little girl who starts school and also has  a birth day s

So between bridesmaid 2 & 3 I can't find a date for the 3 of us to get together to go shopping.  It's madness and I'm planning a wedding in 6 months so kind of need to get moving on this.

However, who frigging cares - I'm getting married and if the bridesmaids carry on like this - I'll make them wear black sacks kapow!!

I'm just checking!

Sometimes I like to check in on Gretta.

Mainly because I can.

I don't miss Gretta.  Gretta spent a lot of days unhappy.  But what I do miss is Scotty and Betty and Sarah...

Some of the fair people who encouraged Gretta along the way.  I sometimes wonder if I have a baby girl whether I'll call her Gretta.

I'm not pregnant by the way.

Just happy.  Just not ruling out the possibility of marriage, of babies, of security.

I'm in love and for the first time in my life I can't refer to myself as Gretta.  Because Gretta James just isn't here anymore.  I don't miss her but I was definitely fond of her and I hope beyond hope she doesn't return.  She just occasionally checks in but not for long;..... Not for long xx

When friends try to ruin things....

I'm not back for long I just really needed a rant so where is the best place to rant but right here. M Maybe this will become my rant station.

Since being in a relationship I've felt the emotional pull on my time. Suddenly I don't have as much free time as I used to have. I'm now combining meeting his family with him meeting my family, I'm combining meeting his friends with him meeting my friends, I'm combining social events and juggling finding alone time. On top of that he has to go away at least one weekend in every month. We have weddings to attend and 30th birthday parties as my friends are one by one hitting that age.

My life is suddenly busier than most could imagine. I've always been busy however being busy single is somewhat easier. Combine 2 busy lives and look at the diary now reduces you to tears wondering when you're going to find alone time with your favourite person.

However, this is where the problem arises one of my single friends is getting more and more demanding on my time and I'm beginning to recent her for it. Even when I was single I didn't spend that much time with her but I guess over the years she's been a very strong single friend and God knows I needed single friends.

So, she contacted me a few weeks back and she said that she and 2 others I know want to meet up with me and go out for a meal. My first response was

Gretta: Great I'd love to go for a meal with you guys. I can do Monday, Thursday or Sunday evenings let me know some you have free and we'll arrange it.

Friend: We can't do any of those evening we can only do Friday evening when are you free on a Friday evening.

Friday evenings had kind of turned into the evening I spend alone with my man so it's not always the first evening I want to offer but not only that I am visiting his family this Friday evening, next Friday evening I'm at a wedding reception and another Friday coming up I'm at a friend's 30th.. Fridays just weren't really working for me...

Gretta: The only 2 Fridays I can do before the end of May are Friday 20th April and Friday 18th May are any of those good for you?

Friend: How about Friday 27th April

Gretta: No I can't do that Friday I can do Friday 20th April and Friday 18th May.

Friend hasn't got back to me about what Friday I can do...

Then the same friend sends me a text yesterday

Friend: do you want to do lunch on good friday

Gretta: I can't do lunch I'm travelling up north to meet the inlaws.

Then today one of my married friends contacted me

Married Friend: I'd love for you and friend to come and meet my new baby when are you guys free?

Gretta: I can do Tuesday evening or next Sat lunchtime

Friend: I can do next Sat but I don't think you should have said lunchtime she might feel she has to do us lunch with a new baby

Gretta: Well I can't do too late in the afternoon because I have a friend's birthday party to go to on the evening.

Friend: we should suggest later in the afternoon.

I just feel that she doesn't seem to like that I have other plans and wants to purposely make things awkward for me. I was sat at my desk almost in tears about the demands I'm feeling she's putting on my time at the moment. Maybe when I was single I could fit in with her single schedule but I can't any more I'm already combining 2 diaries. I replied and purposely laid on the guilt trip..

Gretta: lunchtime is the best time for me that day I'll make sure married friend knows she doesn't have to do us food. I'm almost in tears because I feel so guilty that I can't please everyone at the moment things for me are busy and I hate not being able to fit people in but things will quieten down but right now lunchtime that Saturday is what I can offer and I'm sorry and I feel guilty and I feel like crying every time I open the diary but give me a break I'm trying.

I've had no response from my friend but Married Friend has contacted me saying her husband is going to do a BBQ that day and they'll love for us to come and eat at lunchtime and meet their new baby and that if I want my boy can come too as they'd love to meet him. Not sure I should let him come because how will friend feel having two couples and no single people there although the bitch in me wants to get my boy to come, be all lovey dovey and say fuck you!!!! It's not just me any more, I do have someone else to consider and my life doesn't revolve around you.

The story ends here.....

Gretta James is now dating a wonderful man. She hopes he's the one and therefore doesn't need this blog anymore.

The singleness rants and raves are over my friends.

Thank you for your support and love.

Yours...

Gretta x

The dreaded questions

Gretta? When are you going to get yourself a man? Don't you think it's about time?

After you've gone longer than a year single people begin to ask this question, some people have the tact not to ask knowing it might be a sensitive issue, others don't realise it may cause upset and ask away.

two incidents have happened recently that have really highlighted my single status.

The first being I was at the pub with some of my married friends. Two guys walk in.

Married Friend 1: Gretta did you notice the guys that just walked in you should go talk to them.

Right, that's just lovely, two guys walk in they must be on the pull and I must have noticed them well funnily enough married friend I didn't notice them and nor do I want to go talk to them I came here to spend time with my friends not to pick up guys but yeah I'm single it must occupy my mind all the fucking time right.

The second was my aunty and this incident made me cry. I called her to invite her on a Christmas shopping trip with some of my other aunts and the conversation went a bit like this

Gretta: I wondered if you fancied coming on a christmas shopping trip

Aunty: Gretta isn't it about time you found yourself a nice man

Gretta: well yes but that's not what I'm ringing to talk about

Aunty: you're a pretty and nice girl you should have a man. I saw a guy on tv the other day and thought he'd be perfect for you.

Well that's just fucking great you're trying to set me up with random men you see on tv. I couldn't be bothered with the phone conversation and ended up gutting it short and going to have a cry.

When you hit a certain age people expect you to be taken, if you're not they start to assume you're a lesbian and if you're neither taken or gay they then expect you to hit on every man you see just in case he's the one.

Is it any wonder I've come to the conclusion that I can't be fucking bothered anymore. The men I date screw me over and my female family friends seem to think having a guy screw you over is better than being single or gay. Somehow I'd rather be single and gay then taken with any random Tom, dick or harry.

RANT OVER!

For now (hopefully not ever)

I'm wondering if I'm destined to be single forever.....

I haven't been in a relationship since 2009. In fact I've been single for 2 years and almost 2 months.

I've had a few flirts and I've had a few dates and I've had a few bits of fun. However, 2 years and 2 months this is one heck of a long dry spell to have no inkling of a relationship.

And okay so I might be getting some cyber sex and some interesting conversation but it doesn't (for me) fill that gap of real close intimacy that you have when the man is in your bed next to you, when you're exploring each other and when you're just content to be with someone.

I just guess I always thought I'd have met someone by now but maybe my high standards of wanting to be treated with the respect I deserve are just too darn high. No they're not. I'm not going to settle for the guy who uses me as his mistress, I'm not going to settle for the guy who wants me as an internet frill, I will settle for a guy who commits to me. The reason I can't find that it is probably because last year I think I gave up looking but my theory is if he's worth my time then he'll find me.

For now I'm done with men. And I'm kind of okay with that (for now).