Being Set Up

Bestfriend has come up with a plan.

She knows a lady from her work who is lovely, her husband is lovely, and they have a 31 year old, single, son.

Bestfriend has managed to get her, her hubby, me an invite to this lady's house on the 27th December because her son is home for Christmas with the main aim to set me and her son up. We're going to take the Wii and have a games night, hopefully to take off the pressure, but my Bestfriend has told me I have to bring out the Gretta charm. I did tell her that the Gretta charm hasn't come out of the bag since before CD and Bestfriend said, Gretta you and I both know you're more than capable of pulling that charm out when you need to. So you need to pull it out.

This guy is studying to be a doctor in computer systems or something but from another city, he sounds ridiculously intelligent. Anyway, she's told this lady at her work (who I have met on the odd occasion the plan) and she loves the idea, she said she thinks I'm adorable and she's ready for grandchildren.

hello we haven't even been set up yet, but at least I have the mother in law on side, that makes a change usually mothers hate me. I have no idea why that is.

So yeah, I'm kind of being set up. We're going to nickname this guy Goliath because he's about 7ft tall, yeah I'm serious, he is ridiculously tall, scarily tall in fact, possibly the tallest person I'll ever come across in my life.

Anyway, so I'll keep you posted on how it goes with Goliath, my Bestfriend thinks that his parents are lovely, he'll be lovely, and she wants it to work for us, I think she has high hopes, but I've figured one thing out over the years, Bestfriend is usually a really good judge of character and I probably trust her more than I trust myself when it comes to the male of the species.

So watch this space.

Bye bye baby bye bye...

I think Teddy has a girlfriend.

Since CD and I broke up, Teddy and I have been in a bit of contact, not loads, but a bit.

Anyways, I kind of facebook stalked him, and managed to get on to one of his friends page and she had some pics of him with a rather attractive blonde and lets just say it looked like they were extremely close. Extremely close.

Let me tell you, my heart hurt.

Deep down I know that Teddy and I would never get together, he lives in Australia for goodness sake, but he's just always been the guy I connected with in a big way, and the guy who has been there when I needed him.

The whole time I've known him he's never had a relationship, always working ridiculously hard, partying hard, wanting to commit but not seeming able to. He's kind of me, but with it loving, caring, generous, and I guess I just thought while he was single there was still hope.

I know Australia is the otherside of the world and to think there is still hope is silly but he sometimes works in the UK, ok I know he hasn't since 2007 but he said he might have to work over here again in 2010. So I was holding out hope.

Anyway, now it looks as if he's taken and as a result of that. I have to accept one thing. Teddy whether in the UK or Australia, isn't available anymore. maybe, if I'm right. They do look incredibly close in the pictures.

So if that's the case I must move on. Trouble is, I never thought I'd have to move on from Teddy. He might be far away, and we might sometimes loose touch but truth is he's always been here. always.

A name I haven't mentioned in a loooooonnnngggg time...

But a friend who has never left my side.

You all must remember JerkBoy, he really shouldn't be called JerkBoy because he's been one of the most steadfast, supportive people in my life and ok once I fancied him, he led me on, made me think we'd get it on and we didn't and because Gretta doesn't like rejection named him JerkBoy, but since that day. Our friendship blossomed we both knew where we stood, and we're still standing.

So no I haven't mentioned JerkBoy here for a long time, but, in my life he's been a constant.

Last night I had a serious Climber Dude moment, I started freaking out thinking he'd met someone else, thinking our friends knew and hadn't told me, whether true or not it was a totally irrational freakout to the extreme. Kept me up all night wondering.

So, when I got to work this morning the first thing I thought to do was to email JerkBoy, if anyone can talk some sense into me then JerkBoy is the person to do and boy let me tell you he did not fail....

Here is our email conversation if you so care to read it...

___

Email 1: Gretta to JerkBoy

Hey JerkBoy

How are you doing today?

I have a question for you do you know if or do you possibly think that CD has either met someone else or has a new girlfriend?

If you could let me know that would be great.

Thanks

____

Email 2: Jerkboy to Gretta

Hey Gretta

I'm good. Not really too busy at the moment - work is sparse.

I haven't heard anything. Why do you ask? I don't think he's seeing anyone either. Unless it's Sarah!! lol. I'm laughing because that sounds ridiculous, but maybe it's true!
____

SIDE NOTE: Climber Dude is currently lodging with a family they have a daughter called Sarah (she's beautiful a lot younger than me). JerkBoy knows Sarah because she was a few years below him at school and they were in some music group together.

___

Email 3: Gretta to Jerkboy

I've been pretty good on the whole CD front so unsure where it came from, but you know CD was in touch with me a few weeks back? And I got a little funny about it well I was speaking to a girlfriend about it and she said to me "it sounds to me as if he has something he wants to say to you".

For some odd reason and I don't know where it came from but I suddenly wondered if he'd met someone else and had started giving them more than he gave me and I then questioned if he did have something to say was it that he'd met someone else and he wanted to let me know.

Sarah did flash through my mind as well, I thought well if he did have a girl because he finds it difficult getting on a deeper level with people then she'd probably have to be close to him, because it took AGES for him to get on a deeper level with me. His mate told me he'd been off ill the other day so he would have been around the house alot. So they'd get plenty of time together.

To be honest I just thought if everyone else knows something that i don't I'd be really hurt, so just wanted to check with you first. The thought of it did hurt but I think that it's a bit inevitable when the ex meets someone else it could well hurt a little.

I guess i'm probably completely well off the mark, and I'm thinking my thoughts went in overdrive, I'm feeling all a little stressed and anxious, so everything builds up. One minute it feels like I'm moving on, but at the same time as moving on I suddenly feel scared. It's bizarre.
____

Email 4: Jerkboy to Gretta - (the one that made me feel like a zillion dollars)

Gretta

You can't beat yourself up over it. He's a muppet for not making it work.
You're right when you say that you're too good for him. No one else could've made it work for as long as you did.

I understand that if he is with someone else, it will hurt, but you guys lasted a pretty long time (mainly because of your saint-like patience) so I don't think that even if he was with another girl, that it would last as long as you guys did.

Judging by the way he doesn't seem to know what he wants, I'm going to say it wouldn't last more than a couple of months. A new lady wouldn't be quite as understanding as you are!

But I don't think he's got a lady. He's just been ill!
___________________

It was just what I needed to hear, then I realised I was crying and then it all added up..

1. Irrational thoughts
2. Sleepless nights
3. Crying due to a nice email

Of course... I'm bloody premenstrual.

My life...

SO I think CD has the message he's been on and off facebook all day today and he didn't try and start a conversation with me. I'm glad. Today has been a hard day for me. Someone asked me some questions about me and CD over the weekend, and I've just felt a bit weak ever since, like I miss him today. I almost emailed him twice this morning but stopped myself and then when he appeared on facebook I wanted him to talk to me, but I'm glad he didn't because if he'd talked to me today, today I would have talked back and taht wouldn't have been good for either of us.

I'm 27 years old, I decided to travel instead of go to Uni, I live with my parents due to some financial issues with my old flat, I have no boyfriend, I'm not enjoying my job a the moment and I feel a little lost.

In 3 years time I'm going to be 30 and I still feel like a kid at high school not quite knowing what I'm meant to be doing today or in 3 years time.

2 months on..

I know break-ups aren’t the easiest of things. In fact they’re pretty darn difficult even when the decision is mutual.

CD and I broke up officially on the 1^st Oct although I would say my mind was made up on the 28^th September. So given that – we’ve practically been a part for 2 months.

When he turned up at my door unexpectedly 2 weeks ago, I handled it well, he told me he was just in the area so thought he’d pop by, I told him I was sorry but I was just on my way out. Which clearly I wasn’t but nor did I want to spend any alone time with him.

I can deal with the odd text he sends, the odd email I get, the odd bag of vegetables he seems to insist on giving me. I can deal with those things.

I found it slightly bizarre when he offered to drive me to the organisation we both volunteer for, for a meeting to which I responded I can drive myself.

Today, he turned up at my place of work, thankfully I’d arranged to meet a friend for lunch and had gone for lunch already, and my boss told him I wasn’t around today, my boss can be soo good sometimes.

At first I made excuses for him –

I helped on the allotment it’s understandable he wants to give me veges.

Maybe he was just in the area and he was just ‘popping’ in.

It’s just a friendly text/email he doesn't mean anything by it

We used to drive to the organisation we volunteer at together maybe he just wanted to make sure I didn’t need a lift.

But to turn up at work, during the day, clearly wanting to go out for lunch as it was lunch time.

I don’t think I can make any more excuses, CD the same man that said “He’s not sure if he is in love with me, he just doesn’t know” is clearly showing similar signs to this time last year when he wanted me back.

I wouldn’t have ended our relationship if I just thought 3 months down the line we’d get back together, I’m sure he probably thinks he can wear me down, he did last time it’s not unusual to think he could do it again.

I do miss him at times, so I’m sure as heck he misses me as I certainly gave more than I got in the relationship and maybe all of the above is just because he misses me, misses the friendship - maybe well just be. But...

I don’t care about the ins and outs all I know is I still deserve better. I certainly will be avoiding any alone time with CD. When it comes to girls that guy is clearly UNSTABLE. Part of me wonders what sort of nerve he has to even be willing to play these games with me the other part of me knows break-ups aren't easy and considering we were on/off for over 2 years.

It's kind of understandable really I mean - I am brilliant and was probably the best girlfriend he ever had or will have and if that's not enough I'm beautiful, sexy, kinky, respectful, smart, loving, funny, ditzy, upbeat, positive, generous, thoughtful and genuine.

Yep, I'd want me back if I foolishly let me go.

It's just the bitch in me.

come on all girls have an inner bitch

and today the bitch in me is smiling because it's only lunch time and everything in my diary is ticked off and I can hear my miserable moany, whinging colleague saying "ahh time it's just slipping away" she's so busy and I am so not. *Evil giggles*.

What a girl wants!

Hot stuff left me a message on a comment on facebook. Since the wedding he has been in contact more than ever before, but it's not enough contact to figure him out and it's frustrating me.

Right now i've got The Player giving me enough interest for me to know he's interested but truth is I'd like Hot Stuff to be making that amount of effort. I know hot stuff will be better for me than the player.

Have you heard of the player before, I'm sure you should have done as I've been in contact with him for year, but since splitting with CD he's made a whole heap more contact.

Ok here's what I want, I want to up the contact with Hot Stuff just to get to know him better. I'm not really bothered about Player but he's an option of Hot Stuff doesn't sort himself out. 1 minute I think he's interested the next minute he's not - talk about mixed signals!!!