A dream about a brain.

It's been an extremely quiet day at work today and in all honesty I am relishing it. I had a dream last night and where to begin. This dream was about a guy who came on holiday with a group of me and my friends last easter. I hardly spoke to him the whole time we were away. Truth is I didn't know how to strike up a conversation with him because I thought he'd think I was a dumb girl. He is extremely intelligent you see.

He's my friend's school friend and they've remained friends for years. He's not particularly attractive in any way. However, there is something incredibly endearing about him and he had lovely blue eyes and a striking mole that I wanted to gently brush my fingers over. He was pretty much a geek but a geek that gave me a curiousity that I hadn't really experienced before. I think he must have know I was curious because we kept catching each others eyes and he certainly did give me the impression that he was interested in me - isn't it funny that sometimes facial expressions and body language can speak more clearly than words themselves.

When in the airport ready to go home after the holiday; he was getting a different plane to us and as soon as he'd got his plane his friend told me that, he'd asked for him to pass on his card to me, to which my friend then gave me his card with details on. I was stunned by this. Okay, so I had a fair idea he was interested but I was still shocked that he'd actually done something about it. I think the thing that intrigued me more than anything else is why someone of his calibre would be interested in someone of my calibre and I am not saying that out of insecurity but out of being realistic.

At the time I wasn't really sure what to do. I was fully convinced that there was no way in this earth that we would be able to hold down a relationship. Yet at the same time as thinking that I could clearly see that this was a determined man who often gets what he wants in the same way I can be determined. Knowing that I also knew that if we were in a relationship there was a slight chance it may work. Which back then caused me to be terribly afraid.

So, I took his card and contemplated for some time what to do. Then I finally decided that I didn't have the courage to call, after all I hadn't had the courage to strike up a proper conversation the whole week we were away. So instead I decided to email him. He didn't reply. I mentioned to his friend that I'd done that and he hadn't responded and his mate then mentioned it to him (after I specifically asked him not to) and he told his friend that he would reply to my email the following week. He never. And I haven't heard from him since.

This confused me more than I already was. Why give someone your details if you're not going to respond when they do contact you. So I left things.

The other day his mate told me that he'd be in my city in October to visit him. I didn't think anything of it at the time, didn't even really take it in. I'd forgotten all about Mr Brain.

Then this dream last night. It should have scared me. It didn't, even though when I was dreaming it I thought it was the most real thing ever. I dreamt that me and Mr Brain were living together in an appartment and I'd changed jobs and worked a lot from home. I couldn't figure out if in the dream we were married or not but we were happy and stable and I wasn't afraid.

Now I am having lots of ridiculous thoughts. I am even contemplating asking my mate to arrange for us all to meet up for a drink next time he's around. I don't know why I am thinking that. I don't know why I had the dream and I know that was all it was, a dream. I am not sure where my head is at. What I do know is, that dream has been screwing with my head all day and I've felt very vulnerable and extremely bewildered and confused.