News...

I have some news.

CD is leaving.

Well, as long as his unpaid leave request from work is accepted.

I hacked into his email account (I know I shouldn't have done that).

But I read his sent items and as it happens he's planning on giving in a letter to his workplace today, requesting unpaid leave. His plan is to go and work in Ibiza for a season, and then maybe do some traveling. I think he wants to be away for a year or more all together.

Bizarre really because he contacted me yesterday, saying that one of the girls we met when we were away was having a party in London and did I want to travel by coach with him to London for this girls party. I replied a one word answer which was "no"!

I've come to the conclusion that alone time with an ex is never appropriate ever. Maybe he wants to make some sort of amends before he leaves. I don't really care.

I have mixed emotions about it all. I feel happy he's finally going to go traveling and work abroad which is one of his dreams, one that I was gona do with him at one stage, I'm glad he's finally doing it, I'm relieved I wont have to worry about bumping into him with our group of friends, I'm feeling like that's a good thing not having him around but also part of me is a bit sad. Sad that it ended this way, sad that I don't get to share his dreams with him. Sometimes I astound myself with my stubborn strength I portray to him, even if deep down I knwo the portrayal is untrue truth is I'm ridiculously weak, I'm being strong because I have to be because I know what's good for me, not necessarily because I want to be and it doesn't hurt me everytime I reject him.

Apparently if his work accept his request for unpaid leave he'll be leaving at the end of April. Roll on. May...

In other news I've given a guy my number from a dating site, I'm waiting for him to contact me now, he hasn't as yet, but he's the one that suggested meeting so I'm hoping he does call. I could do with a date just to give my mind something else to focus on.