A fine line.

I hate it. I hate what he's done to me. I hate it that I don't feel content in my life anymore. I hate that I feel lonely. I hate that I want a man in my life to stay. I hate that I feel empty and lost at times. I hate that I'm constantly seeking to take away the pain that seems to have been left.

I hate the fact that I loved him far more than he loved me. I hate the fact that I loved myself enough to walk away. I hate the fact that no matter how hard I try I still think of him daily. I hate it. I hate that when I think of being with another man I fear I will feel unfaithful. I hate that I committed to him in a way I'd never committed to anyone.

Someone once said if you think someone is worth breaking your heart over then you need to take that risk. They didn't tell me how much it would effect me when my heart broke. I feel black.

I just have to keep telling myself this

"It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of my life"

One day I might not feel like a part of me is missing. Wish that day would hurry up and come.