So silly!

I feel so much better after my cry last night. After Scotty pointing out my planknessness, I have now figured things out and I feel a lot more at ease!

He's not worth anymore wasted thoughts, time or attention. I'm not going to turn into some untouchable ice queen but I am however, not going to instigate anything else. He knows where I am.

It's funny though, as soon as I make that decision, guess who's online, non other than Flatmate. I so seriously wanted to get him to give me attention to make me feel better about myself, and if I'm to be honest if work hadn't been so busy this morning I would have pushed his buttons and got that attention.

I'm scared of myself, I hate my insecurities that make me want men I shouldn't have, I'm scared that I'll miss out on something so unbelievably special because I've found myself wanting some guy who doesn't put effort in.

However, I am feeling a lot better.

Oh and I got a text today from someone at the club Sunday night - I'd bumped into an old friend on the dance floor, and we chatted for a bit and I gave him my number, not for him to pull me at all but just coz we used to hang out a fair bit. Anyway, his text said "I didn't tell you the other night but you were looking really good the other night". It's a shame he's a munter with a girlfriend but I guess at least I got some attention.

I'm so concerned that if I see Flatmate online again I'm gona do sumat stupid. Arrrggghh I hate me when I get like this.