Me and my big mouth.

You know I said an old friend was online! Well that old friend is a friend of Flatmate's and I may have made a bit of a cock up when talking to him. I've spoken about him before and I can't remember what nickname I gave him. Hmmm let me just go rewind and see if I can dig out the post. Ok here is the post, I named him Tan. So, it was Tan who appeared online this morning and I had a voice convo with. Tan is friend's of Flatmate. I've always been pretty sure that Tan thought there was something a bit strange about mine and Flatmate's friendship and today online he was asking so many questions that I might have given a bit away, now I'm freaking out that he'll go back and tell Flatmate what I said!!!!

Tan: So do you still chat to Flatmate?

Gretta: Not half as much as I used to!

Tan: Why's that?

Gretta: I dunno really, maybe I just thought he shouldn't be chatting to me so much having a girlfriend and all.

Tan: Him and Gifty are still pretty strong you know but saying that I just think Flatmate can't stand the thought of being alone. Gifty does my head in, but they seem to be spending more time together lately because I popped over his place yesterday and she was there too and she's been there the last few times I've dropped in which isn't usual.

Gretta: Ahhh right well he used to moan a bit to me about how unhappy he was in that relationship and I told him he had 2 choices that he either had to end things, or he had to make the most of the choice he's made to be with her and to stop moaning and enjoy it.

Tan: You said that to him?

Gretta: Yeah I did

Tan: And you don't spend time with him anymore becuase you think he should be spending that time with Gifty?

Gretta: *changes subject* So, tell me about the new love in your life, I've heard on the grapevine ok via facebook that you're no longer single.

Thankfully Tan loves chatting about himself and he didn't notice my purposeful changing the subject trick, however, from all of his questions he was asking I could so tell he knew that something might have happened between Flatmate and I - Anyway it turns out Tan met a girl at a recent wedding he went to and they're now officially an item, they live about an hour away from each other but they see one another a few times a week and it's going really well! This is good he tried it on with me once and I turned him down because Flatmate would go mad, I remember Flatmate told me about a dream he had had once where he walked in and I was in bed with Tan, Tan's a bit up himself at times though so I used that to reassure Flatmate that wouldn't happen. Funny how I was turning guys down when Flatmate was in a full on relationship - man I was fool back then.

Trouble is if Tan goes and tells Flatmate what I've said about being too close considering he has a girlfriend, I'm gona be in the shit - I can imagine Flatmate blowing his top at me. Really why should I even care? he's the one that cheated not me but I do care, I actually want things to work out with him and Gifty now, I don't want to mess things up for him, and I don't want to hurt him either, in someways I still miss him, I miss the way he "seemed" to care so much for me and right now I want hime to be happy, it was just Tan was asking sooo many questions - I don't want these questions and answers to drag up the past and put fear in Flatmate's mind - we were both in the wrong back then, but it's in the past, I jsut wish I'd handled the conversation better!!