I need advice
I've written a letter to Flatmate but as yet I've not sent it! I am clearly umming and ahhing and knowing me will probably chicken out from the fear of being rejected. However, I've posted the letter below and would love some advice! Girls I am sure some of you have been in the same situation and can tell me if it's the right or wrong thing to do. Boys I know it's intense and if you received a letter like this you'd probably run a mile but he's the one that has told me I am perfect for him and one day he'd like to marry me, so if that's not intense I don't know what is???? Anyway, I am not gona send it yet - so all advice welcome. You can call me a crazy loon too for the fun of it.
________
Hi Flatmate
There was always going to come a time when I had to write this. I just guess I didn’t expect it to be now!
In December I met the most amazing guy I wish I wasn’t flirting with your flatmate when we met and I wish you didn’t have a girlfriend of 2 years. You think with all this against us we would have known better - we didn’t.
I never ever thought things between us would turn out the way they have or be THIS good. I never thought I’d open my heart up to you and let you in – at the time I never thought I’d open my heart to anyone, and I didn’t even think you’d want to walk in so it took me more than a little by surprise when I realised I’d let you get so close to me.
There is nothing I want more than for us to share our lives together – I am scared at how much I think about you when you’re not around and how when I am somewhere new or having a good time how much I wish you were with me sharing it too when you're not there.
This is the hard bit though. I am so close to giving you my whole heart. Something I’ve never given to anyone. Yet something restricts me and I am secretly glad it’s restricting me because I know the same thing restricts you too. Every time I know you’re with Gifty it hurts me. You being with her hurts me, I hate the way we have to cut our time short because you’re planning to spend time with her or when she randomly turns up at your place and suddenly you have to disappear leaving me feeling guilty and in the wrong. I know you know how it makes me feel because you see how sad I look and my face you can read like a book (unfortunately). These things also make me a little resentful, bitter and slightly angry inside more-so at myself than anyone else and then I realised those things aren’t loving characteristics.
If Gifty is in the picture I can never fully give my heart to you and you can’t give your heart to me either. I can’t imagine my future without you in it. Yet if you are unable to end things with Gifty, I can’t share my future with you.
At this moment in time I don’t know what to do I don’t want to lose you but I don’t want to be second best either – I figure there is 2 choices. You can either: 1. end things with Gifty and commit to me fully and we’ll risk it all to see if this works or you can 2. end things with me and walk out of my life – so I can get over you. I am not feeling strong enough to walk out of your life I did it before and couldn’t hack it – so if you choose the second option it’s your turn ;).
You’re still that amazing guy that walked into my life back in December and then over those months we just got closer and closer and the closer we got the more I respected, valued and cared for you. I clearly want you to stay in my life, but if you choose to leave I won’t think any less of you – it was my fault to have let you into my heart in the first place.
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write – I’m laying my heart on the line and telling you how it is – I’d willingly give you all if you were able to give me all and by laying my heart on the line I know I risk the chance of it being broken. I really do have faith that we can make this work but it’s not going to if I feel rejected and hurt every time you choose Gifty over me. I hope you don’t think any less of me but things can’t stay as they are. I hope you understand.
Now I guess I’ll leave you to think on that – I’ll be waiting for you decision so if you could get back to me that would be great.
Gretta
p.s – I love you
________
Hi Flatmate
There was always going to come a time when I had to write this. I just guess I didn’t expect it to be now!
In December I met the most amazing guy I wish I wasn’t flirting with your flatmate when we met and I wish you didn’t have a girlfriend of 2 years. You think with all this against us we would have known better - we didn’t.
I never ever thought things between us would turn out the way they have or be THIS good. I never thought I’d open my heart up to you and let you in – at the time I never thought I’d open my heart to anyone, and I didn’t even think you’d want to walk in so it took me more than a little by surprise when I realised I’d let you get so close to me.
There is nothing I want more than for us to share our lives together – I am scared at how much I think about you when you’re not around and how when I am somewhere new or having a good time how much I wish you were with me sharing it too when you're not there.
This is the hard bit though. I am so close to giving you my whole heart. Something I’ve never given to anyone. Yet something restricts me and I am secretly glad it’s restricting me because I know the same thing restricts you too. Every time I know you’re with Gifty it hurts me. You being with her hurts me, I hate the way we have to cut our time short because you’re planning to spend time with her or when she randomly turns up at your place and suddenly you have to disappear leaving me feeling guilty and in the wrong. I know you know how it makes me feel because you see how sad I look and my face you can read like a book (unfortunately). These things also make me a little resentful, bitter and slightly angry inside more-so at myself than anyone else and then I realised those things aren’t loving characteristics.
If Gifty is in the picture I can never fully give my heart to you and you can’t give your heart to me either. I can’t imagine my future without you in it. Yet if you are unable to end things with Gifty, I can’t share my future with you.
At this moment in time I don’t know what to do I don’t want to lose you but I don’t want to be second best either – I figure there is 2 choices. You can either: 1. end things with Gifty and commit to me fully and we’ll risk it all to see if this works or you can 2. end things with me and walk out of my life – so I can get over you. I am not feeling strong enough to walk out of your life I did it before and couldn’t hack it – so if you choose the second option it’s your turn ;).
You’re still that amazing guy that walked into my life back in December and then over those months we just got closer and closer and the closer we got the more I respected, valued and cared for you. I clearly want you to stay in my life, but if you choose to leave I won’t think any less of you – it was my fault to have let you into my heart in the first place.
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write – I’m laying my heart on the line and telling you how it is – I’d willingly give you all if you were able to give me all and by laying my heart on the line I know I risk the chance of it being broken. I really do have faith that we can make this work but it’s not going to if I feel rejected and hurt every time you choose Gifty over me. I hope you don’t think any less of me but things can’t stay as they are. I hope you understand.
Now I guess I’ll leave you to think on that – I’ll be waiting for you decision so if you could get back to me that would be great.
Gretta
p.s – I love you
posted by Gretta James at 10:44 AM
2 Comments:
I thought it was pretty good. Honest, open, puts everything in his court. If he truly wants to be with you, he'll get rid of Gifty (although he probably should have done that a while ago).
Gretta, your letter to him broke my heart. I feel your pain and I can really relate to it.
It takes courage to write a letter such as this, but if FlatMate is selfish, he'd always be telling you the things you'd want to hear just to string you along. He'd always want to have both you and Gifty. Men tend to think with their other 'head' most times. Sigh.
If anyone's to pull out, it'd have to be you.
I've had a cheating partner before and before I found out about him cheating, I begged him to let me know if he had another woman or other women so that I can let him go, but he kept denying it. A guy friend told me the same thing -- guys would never admit to their girls that they're balancing a few women.
I hope you are strong enough to pull out of it. I'm still reeling from the pain the ex bestowed upon me. It's been close to 4 months and he's the reason I stopped blogging.
I'll be blogging again soon... Will keep you posted.
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