Quietly Freaking Out :(

I am thinking that Mr Tall and I are about to go horribly wrong. We've been chatting online all week and things I have to say it seemed near perfect.

Anyway, I've been on some medication of late - it's nothing life threatening at all and is just women problem related so haven't wanted to tell Mr Tall what the problem was but he's known that I haven't been well and known that I am on medication. The only issue is the doc said to me that if it doesn't clear up by monday she's gona contact the consultant and book me in for an operation. So I filled Mr Tall in and he asked me to tell him what the problem actually was. Like I said it's not life threatening it's just slightly embarrassing for me.

Anyway, yesterday I told him and after I thought he went all quiet and weird but it's hard to tell online so I assumed that things were fine, seriously this thing isn't gona kill me, it's not gona cause any problems once it's treated, it's just not even significant.

So Mr Tall is going away this weekend with a bunch of friends and we're not going to be able to have our phone date this week. Which yeah I am pretty bummed about but I'll live but when he logged off yesterday after me thinking he was being all weird he said he's make sure he popped online today to say goodbye to me before he goes away. He didn't. Now I am wishing that I hadn't told him, at the back of my head I am thinking he can't be funny about that it's not even serious but it just seems so strange that he's gone into himself and he's not come online to say goodbye. So, far he's always kept his word and I am feeling insecure at the moment. I don't understand. Now he's away for the weekend and I don't know what he's thinking. I just don't get it.

I always knew the distance was going to prove a hard factor to overcome but it's not the distance right now that's the problem, it's the communication. If he's not online how am I ever going to know what's going on in that head of his.

This could be the beginning of the end, or just the end but I guess it was fun when it was fun. It's not so fun right now. At a time I needed him to make me feel secure was the time he left me feeling insecure.