needs more cuddles
Today...
I received an email from Teddy. I should be over the moon, it's been a month since he has last been in touch, I should have been running round the office with the biggest beaming smile on my face, I should have got all giddy with butterflies in my stomach.
I didn't. Why?
Because the email was a reminder that he is about as far away from me as he can physically possibly be and that's not going to change any time soon.
In his email he told me that he had found a job in Wollongong near his family, that he is very settled in a friend's place and that although the office is in Wollongong the project he is currently working on is in Darwin. He didn't mention any lady friends, but he did say he was happy, the happiest he's been for a while in fact.
I know his happiness should make me happy, and it does (a bit) but the thing is the more settled he becomes the more unlikely it is that he'll be back. I don't like the thought that it could be a very long time before we see each other again if ever, and I don't like the thought of him meeting someone and settling down, but the more he gets himself in a stable situation, the more likely that's going to be.
Jerk Boy doesn't understand my soft spot for Teddy! I try to explain to him that he's the most wonderful man I've ever met, that the thing I'm most afraid of, losing my independence and being vulnerable, is the one thing that he makes me feel safe about. I'm at my most vulnerable when we're together, yet I feel safer than I ever have before! Work that one out. What do you do when the most wonderful man you've ever met is settling on hte opposite side of the world?
Even though Teddy is so crap at staying in touch with me, he's still given me such wonderful memories and a hope that good guys exist! However, I just fear I wont find one quite as good as my Teddy Bear.
I received an email from Teddy. I should be over the moon, it's been a month since he has last been in touch, I should have been running round the office with the biggest beaming smile on my face, I should have got all giddy with butterflies in my stomach.
I didn't. Why?
Because the email was a reminder that he is about as far away from me as he can physically possibly be and that's not going to change any time soon.
In his email he told me that he had found a job in Wollongong near his family, that he is very settled in a friend's place and that although the office is in Wollongong the project he is currently working on is in Darwin. He didn't mention any lady friends, but he did say he was happy, the happiest he's been for a while in fact.
I know his happiness should make me happy, and it does (a bit) but the thing is the more settled he becomes the more unlikely it is that he'll be back. I don't like the thought that it could be a very long time before we see each other again if ever, and I don't like the thought of him meeting someone and settling down, but the more he gets himself in a stable situation, the more likely that's going to be.
Jerk Boy doesn't understand my soft spot for Teddy! I try to explain to him that he's the most wonderful man I've ever met, that the thing I'm most afraid of, losing my independence and being vulnerable, is the one thing that he makes me feel safe about. I'm at my most vulnerable when we're together, yet I feel safer than I ever have before! Work that one out. What do you do when the most wonderful man you've ever met is settling on hte opposite side of the world?
Even though Teddy is so crap at staying in touch with me, he's still given me such wonderful memories and a hope that good guys exist! However, I just fear I wont find one quite as good as my Teddy Bear.
posted by Gretta James at 8:19 AM
2 Comments:
Well.... you could just come and live in Bondi? It's not far from Wollongong? In fact, I'll be there on Fri night!
Sometimes it takes a person like Teddy to make you realise how much you deserve. You deserve a lot.
You will, you deserve a lot.
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