Dead end???

Last night I went for a drink with Climber Dude all went well and he invited me back to his place after. Got back to his place and continued to talk about going away next year, at first it was fine, but then I just started getting this freaky feeling. It was as if I didn't have a choice, I'm either with him and going away next year, or I'm not with him. There seems to be no middle, it's either I'm with him and going away or not with him (it's groundhog day in my mind today can you tell?).

So, I just went quiet, he knew there was a problem straight away, it's not often I got that quiet. He asked me what was wrong and I told him.

"We're suppose to be at the start of a relationship but when you talk about going away, you talk as if I'm going with you. Although I'd consider it, I'm not definite and I feel that I don't really have a choice - I just feel like there is soooo much pressure. I know it's something you want to do, and I know it's on your heart so you're gona wana talk about it but when you talk about it, it adds extra pressure on me to make a decision and I'm not in the place where I can. I can't help but think maybe we are better off as just friends"

He asked me if I saw him as more than a friend. I told him

"At times I do, but at other times I see us as really good friends".

I asked him where we go from here and he said well I think we've reached our conclusion, we're just friends. I stayed for a little while longer, he put a bond film on. Then I left, when I left he said "Well, Gretta it's been emotional" I was a little confused by that comment.

My whole insides were just freaking out, it's as if he wants my life to just fit in with his plans, and he doesn't seem very flexible with his plans and I'm just unsure I can conform to that.

I've been in confused agony today, my mum told me that what he's asking me to do isn't that big of a deal and actually she thinks it will be good for me, she then said she knows she can't run my life for me.

Best Friend said she understands why I feel pressure and doesn't think he should be making me feel pressure, isn't the start of a relationship suppose to be fun and exciting, you're not suppose to be thinking about a year down the line?

Jerk Boy said he understood why Climber Dude was asking what he was asking, he was sounding you out, he needs to know because he has a plan and he needs to know that if you're in it that you'll fit in it. I explained to Jerk Boy but for a second date to make it feel so pressured isn't good, and Jerk Boy agreed if it were him he'd run a mile but still can understand why Climber Dude was asking.

I feel confused. I text him 10mins ago asking how he was doing today and how was work going? He hasn't replied but he's still at work so I don't expect him to until he finishes. I can't describe how I feel, I'm unsure it's over even though I came away last night with the impression we're no more than friends. I dunno - it's all so confusing.