The time has come to say goodbye.

Here's the thing. In 8 hours time my boycott against Jerk Boy will begin. The project is going to be presented later and after that my plan is going to come into action. No more texts, no more emails, no more phone calls, no more talking to him alone. NO MORE HIM. I am going to be strict on myself. The one thing I am is a determined little shit when I want to be. I am going to get my frame of mind in a place and it's going to stay there no more going back, no more sharing my life with him, no more asking him to share his life with me.

You see this "thing" whatever it is with me and Jerk boy has been going on for nearly 2 years and it all went completely wrong a year ago. Since then, since the whole "Gretta we're just good friends, Gretta I think of you as a sister, Gretta this is NEVER going to work" talk (what I want to add, Jerk Boy is I didn't realise you held hands with your sister when watching films in the cinema, I didn't think you'd pick up your sister's leg under the table at the pub and stroke it, I didn't think you'd constantly compliment how beautiful your sister is and I certainly didn't think you'd spend your birthday, the whole day and evening in your sister's company and no one elses call me confused but I wasn't the one misleading anyone - now you may understand why I call him Jerk Boy).

Things have been a little strained at times understandably but through everything it somehow, and I am not sure how, brought us even to closer and made our friendship stronger, we shared a secret and had a hold on each other I guess.

So over a year on this is where we are, me pretending that I'm over him and he believing it because he can't bear to lose the friendship we have. It's funny, if anyone else had gone through what we have you'd kind of expect them not to have much of a friendship and altho we now avoid alone time together, we certainly have a strong friendship. It's that friendship I blame for where I am at this moment in time and it's that friendship I am going to miss more than I can imagine, it hurts just thinking about it. It's going to be hard but I know I can do it. I CAN DO IT.

Goodbye.