What CD did next....
On Monday night I went out with the lady that CD lodges with and her friend. I got on really well with these 2 middleaged women when me and CD were together. We had a right laugh, they're like older versions of me, you know a little bit naughty but nice ;) ;).
Anyhow, I've been out with them a few times since breaking up with CD and they've alway mentioned him a little but they've been very aware of me and my feelings and didn't talk about him too much.
Unfortunately on Monday night CD was the main topic of conversation, I kept trying to change the subject but it just didn't work.
So I now know that CD applied for longterm leave from his job, but they refused him so now he's going to quit his job (he'll always be able to get a job). He's planning on going to Ibiza to party hard for the summer. Then he might stay in Ibiza and do some traveling from there, or he might see if he can join an aid organisation and do some aid work somewhere. They both said the same thing that he doesn't really seem to know what he's doing but he knows he has to go out into the world.
I know that his bestmate was hoping he'd get it on with one of the lady's daughters because if he had a girl in this city he'd have a tie to this city. However, the lady assured me her daughter wasn't at all interested. I didn't care either way.
To be honest at first I hated how open they were being about CDs life. I'd managed to avoid it for sooo long, but it's kind of given me some kind of closure. I may have been a party girl once but I'm not that girl now and there is no way I'd want to spend a summer in Ibiza. It made me realise that he is leaving, and there is a possibility that he might no come back.... I know he has a house in this city, but by renting it out it's covering it's mortgage so essentially it's just an asset. He doesn't have to come back to this city when he'd done "finding himself". If he meets a girl on his travels he can go anywhere he pleases.
At the end of the day he's going and I don't feel bad about the fact that I might never see him again. He's not in my life anymore and I'm not in his and it's been hard, but I'm slowly getting used to it and I'd go as far to say I'm just now beginning to like it - knowing that his dreams weren't my dreams and for him to have his dreams I'd have to have given up mine and he sure has heck wouldn't have done the same in return.
Maybe hearing about it all was good for me even though I like blocking it out, because by hearing I guess it's helped me accept it.
Anyhow, I've been out with them a few times since breaking up with CD and they've alway mentioned him a little but they've been very aware of me and my feelings and didn't talk about him too much.
Unfortunately on Monday night CD was the main topic of conversation, I kept trying to change the subject but it just didn't work.
So I now know that CD applied for longterm leave from his job, but they refused him so now he's going to quit his job (he'll always be able to get a job). He's planning on going to Ibiza to party hard for the summer. Then he might stay in Ibiza and do some traveling from there, or he might see if he can join an aid organisation and do some aid work somewhere. They both said the same thing that he doesn't really seem to know what he's doing but he knows he has to go out into the world.
I know that his bestmate was hoping he'd get it on with one of the lady's daughters because if he had a girl in this city he'd have a tie to this city. However, the lady assured me her daughter wasn't at all interested. I didn't care either way.
To be honest at first I hated how open they were being about CDs life. I'd managed to avoid it for sooo long, but it's kind of given me some kind of closure. I may have been a party girl once but I'm not that girl now and there is no way I'd want to spend a summer in Ibiza. It made me realise that he is leaving, and there is a possibility that he might no come back.... I know he has a house in this city, but by renting it out it's covering it's mortgage so essentially it's just an asset. He doesn't have to come back to this city when he'd done "finding himself". If he meets a girl on his travels he can go anywhere he pleases.
At the end of the day he's going and I don't feel bad about the fact that I might never see him again. He's not in my life anymore and I'm not in his and it's been hard, but I'm slowly getting used to it and I'd go as far to say I'm just now beginning to like it - knowing that his dreams weren't my dreams and for him to have his dreams I'd have to have given up mine and he sure has heck wouldn't have done the same in return.
Maybe hearing about it all was good for me even though I like blocking it out, because by hearing I guess it's helped me accept it.
posted by Gretta James at 8:26 AM
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