A little wry smile!
To follow on from the last post I did ask CD and he does want to get married one day he just wants to do some travel next year and doesn't seem to think it important before going, he assumes I'll be going too but for some reason I'm just not so sure at the moment whether I'll go or not. We'll see I guess, I don't feel unsure or insecure though, I'm pretty convinced I've got CD pretty much where I want him after this weekend.
CDs mother has always been a bit of a difficult one for me, CD loves her dearly, respects her in such a way that as a gf you fear you'll never quite get there. He's her youngest son, and you can understand the whole mummy's boy thing and actually I understand why he respects her soo much, she works dog hard, she looks after her sick husband (CD's dad), she's always polite. Yet I've noticed over the last few times we've met up with his folks, he's been a lot more attentive towards me giving the impression taht I'm just as important to him.
The bit I struggle with is that his mum doesn't smile very much so you don't feel particularly welcomed into her home or family, and she is always so bloody serious, too serious, and sometimes she makes comments that maybe I just read too much into.
You see I always feel that when shetalks about other people she's discreetly trying to make a point. For instance CD's brother wont visit his mum and dad without his GF and why forever not they've been together for 5 years, they live together, they're practically married and it's almost a certainty that she will be the mother of her first grandchildren. However on one of my first meeting with CD's mum, when as you can imagine I'd be extremely nervous, trying my utmost to make a good impression she makes a comment about how she doesn't seem to see her oldest son very often and how would I be if CD wanted to visit without me?
I just said that as long as CD has good balance in all his relationships I have no problem with him spending time away from me, we're not joined at the hip, he goes away mountaineering for weeks without me, I deal with it and in fact I embrace the times we're not together hanging out with my girlfriends. However, when I said to CD next time he was planning on visiting them I'd let him go on his own, he kicked up a fuss wanting me with him and I don't think he's going to want to go without me now. So I went and as I'll do anything for CD I'll continue to go if he wants me to.
This weekend we were at a family wedding the otherside of the country, for CD and his mum makes this comment about one of the couples saying they don't need to show there love by physical contact you can just see it and she thinks it's really nice. CD and I aren't particularly touchy feely but so what if we were, we're young and in love, anyway maybe she was just observing, she also could have been getting at CD's bro and his GF and she might not have been getting at us but I really felt she was. So when we slow danced at the end of the wedding I made sure we were very touchy feely. I don't know why I feel the need to stake a claim on CD when his mum's around but for some odd reason I view his mum as my toughest competition, the only plus side is I know I'm winning.
The fact of the matter is it's not that I dislike her, in fact I completely understand why CD loves and respects her so much, she's a really good and lovely lady and CD is a wonderful man so you know his mum has imputted into the man that he is today and I love her and respect her for that. It's just that she gives me the impression she dislikes me through lack of smiling and the odd comments she makes and I wish I didn't and I don't know why it happens but it just makes me get this little rebellious competitive streak whereby I want CDs attention when she's around and I know exactly the right buttons to push to get that attention and unfortunately it's buttons that a man's mother will never be able to find or push, and that's why currently I'm safe in the knowledge that if she is trying to upset or test or put the feelers out on our relationship or if she does want us to act and be different to who we are she doesn't have the power because truth of the matter is neither CD or I will let her have it, and CD isn't even aware of it in the same way I am.
In other news, I saw a cactus plant with the most vicious looking spikes on it and the plant was called "mother in laws cushion" I couldn't help but have a little wry smile.
CDs mother has always been a bit of a difficult one for me, CD loves her dearly, respects her in such a way that as a gf you fear you'll never quite get there. He's her youngest son, and you can understand the whole mummy's boy thing and actually I understand why he respects her soo much, she works dog hard, she looks after her sick husband (CD's dad), she's always polite. Yet I've noticed over the last few times we've met up with his folks, he's been a lot more attentive towards me giving the impression taht I'm just as important to him.
The bit I struggle with is that his mum doesn't smile very much so you don't feel particularly welcomed into her home or family, and she is always so bloody serious, too serious, and sometimes she makes comments that maybe I just read too much into.
You see I always feel that when shetalks about other people she's discreetly trying to make a point. For instance CD's brother wont visit his mum and dad without his GF and why forever not they've been together for 5 years, they live together, they're practically married and it's almost a certainty that she will be the mother of her first grandchildren. However on one of my first meeting with CD's mum, when as you can imagine I'd be extremely nervous, trying my utmost to make a good impression she makes a comment about how she doesn't seem to see her oldest son very often and how would I be if CD wanted to visit without me?
I just said that as long as CD has good balance in all his relationships I have no problem with him spending time away from me, we're not joined at the hip, he goes away mountaineering for weeks without me, I deal with it and in fact I embrace the times we're not together hanging out with my girlfriends. However, when I said to CD next time he was planning on visiting them I'd let him go on his own, he kicked up a fuss wanting me with him and I don't think he's going to want to go without me now. So I went and as I'll do anything for CD I'll continue to go if he wants me to.
This weekend we were at a family wedding the otherside of the country, for CD and his mum makes this comment about one of the couples saying they don't need to show there love by physical contact you can just see it and she thinks it's really nice. CD and I aren't particularly touchy feely but so what if we were, we're young and in love, anyway maybe she was just observing, she also could have been getting at CD's bro and his GF and she might not have been getting at us but I really felt she was. So when we slow danced at the end of the wedding I made sure we were very touchy feely. I don't know why I feel the need to stake a claim on CD when his mum's around but for some odd reason I view his mum as my toughest competition, the only plus side is I know I'm winning.
The fact of the matter is it's not that I dislike her, in fact I completely understand why CD loves and respects her so much, she's a really good and lovely lady and CD is a wonderful man so you know his mum has imputted into the man that he is today and I love her and respect her for that. It's just that she gives me the impression she dislikes me through lack of smiling and the odd comments she makes and I wish I didn't and I don't know why it happens but it just makes me get this little rebellious competitive streak whereby I want CDs attention when she's around and I know exactly the right buttons to push to get that attention and unfortunately it's buttons that a man's mother will never be able to find or push, and that's why currently I'm safe in the knowledge that if she is trying to upset or test or put the feelers out on our relationship or if she does want us to act and be different to who we are she doesn't have the power because truth of the matter is neither CD or I will let her have it, and CD isn't even aware of it in the same way I am.
In other news, I saw a cactus plant with the most vicious looking spikes on it and the plant was called "mother in laws cushion" I couldn't help but have a little wry smile.
posted by Gretta James at 7:00 AM
4 Comments:
why wouldnt you go on travel with him?
The mothers are always a particularly sticky bit. Beave's mother hated me and I think that certainly helped things come to an untidy end between us. It's hard to compete when you have the other most important woman in his life rooting against you.
In you situation, however, it certainly seems like she's just reserved. And it also seems like CD is in love with you enough that it wouldn't matter anyway :)
Scotty: It's not that I won't it's just that I have lots to consider. I've already done a heap of travel and spent thousands of pounds doing so, I'd got to a stage in my life where I was beginning to start properly saving to buy a place of my own rather than renting ect, if I go traveling I'd have to spend the money I've already saved. Also my job isn't as secure as CDs he can take a career break and come back to his job I would have to quit my job completely, so that's a bit scary in itself really. Anyways, it's not that I wont it's just that for some reason I imagined myself being a bit more secure before I did. I guess I just though if we were married, we'd be sharing the cost of a house etc and then traveling would be more feasible. I guess there are no guarantees in life but if it all goes wrong I'd have nothing to fall back on no savings, no job, no house. Who knows maybe I shouldn't worry so much and just live life a bit more.
Lass it doesn't surprise me that you understand.
Where's Gretta?
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