No Regrets.

Reading Lil's blogs lately have been reminding me soooo much of the past. Reminding me of Flatmate and the old days..

You know even through everyone on this blog telling me to back away from a taken guy, telling me I deserve better, telling me I shouldn't have been doing what I was doing. Even though their advice was right. I still don't regret it for a single second.

Don't get me wrong I love CD, he's secure, safe, faithful, loving sensitive, all the things you want in a long term boyfriend.

But

Flatmate was scary, emotional, thrilling, never knowing what was next, mysterious, lust filled and I loved every second of the excitement even if I wasn't so keen on the emotions.

Would I do it again now, I don't think so, but I don't look back with regrets I look back and think that guy was the crazy guy that I could have never have had a long term relationship, he was the guy that was "just for fun".

He wasn't with me all the time so he never saw my flaws, my strops, my tears, my illness but he also missed out on some of my smiles, my laughters, my love and you know what I've got CD who loves me just the way I am, I'm sure he'd rather I didn't strop and I'm sure he wishes that I didn't get the once a month hormones where I get far more argumentative than normal, but with those things he takes me.

I'm not convinced Flatmate would have taken me, he like fun loving Gretta, naughty Gretta, always up for it Gretta.

When I read back about Flatmate I remember the hurt, the pain, the feelings of rejection when he was with Gifty and not me, I remember. I remember the sex, the fun, the free living, the dangerousness, the excitement, I remember, I remember but not for one second do I regret. Not for one second.