The tough question I'd expected...
.... Will you come rock climbing with me?
When I agreed to get back together with CD, I said it was under the condition that he could accept me into his life without me having to go rock climbing. He wanted me back, he was desperate for us to be back together, he would have agreed to anything I'd said! Clearly!... Because he hadn't remembered that conversation and the other day while I was helping him paint his spare room, that question was asked.
First response NO!
He said lots to me, like that shows me your character.. Why wont you consider having that experience with me, I'll keep you safe.
That night I stood by my NO!
You see I'm afraid of heights, in fact I'm petrified of heights, in the past I've done absailing and cried the whole evening after the experience, and if that wasn't enough I tried a climbing wall just to find out half way up I froze and had to have the instructor come and talk me down. It was humiliating along with terrifying. I've climbed a ladder to put up Christmas decs on the high office ceiling to find myself in tears and begging a colleague to do it for me.
So Rock Climbing is an experience in my life I can happily do without.
Overnight, I considered it. I thought in a relationship my aim should be to put the other person first and he wants this experience with me, so in the morning I text him and said...
"I'll do it but it better be soon before I change my mind"
The next day I spent the morning in work in tears out of fear of what I had agreed to do. At lunch time I rang him and said that I really didn't want to do it, the only reason I was doing it was because I was putting him first and I didn't want to do it. He said it was ok and he'd start me off small, he put my mind at ease somewhat.
Then last night, I led awake in bed, nothing in me wants to even try this rock climbing lark, it scares the shit out of me. So, on msn today while I was at work I told him I didn't want to do it, that if he judges my character because I don't wnat to do something that's unfair of him.
For him I have walked up mountains, something I would have never have done before, for him I have canoed down a lake, for him I have done wild camping with no shower facilities, for him I actually think I'd die because at least once you're dead you can't relive the experience in your head over and over again pertrifying yourself, but rock climbing is something I REALLY don't want to do. I'll watch him do it, if he wants to talk to me about I'll listen, but nothing in me wants to climb up the side of a cliff nothing at all.
He said it was fine, that I didn't have to do it and that i shouldn't let it keep me awake at night or cause me to get upset during my day, he was really quite good but he still thinks I should try it some time. My response was...
I really don't want to.
When I agreed to get back together with CD, I said it was under the condition that he could accept me into his life without me having to go rock climbing. He wanted me back, he was desperate for us to be back together, he would have agreed to anything I'd said! Clearly!... Because he hadn't remembered that conversation and the other day while I was helping him paint his spare room, that question was asked.
First response NO!
He said lots to me, like that shows me your character.. Why wont you consider having that experience with me, I'll keep you safe.
That night I stood by my NO!
You see I'm afraid of heights, in fact I'm petrified of heights, in the past I've done absailing and cried the whole evening after the experience, and if that wasn't enough I tried a climbing wall just to find out half way up I froze and had to have the instructor come and talk me down. It was humiliating along with terrifying. I've climbed a ladder to put up Christmas decs on the high office ceiling to find myself in tears and begging a colleague to do it for me.
So Rock Climbing is an experience in my life I can happily do without.
Overnight, I considered it. I thought in a relationship my aim should be to put the other person first and he wants this experience with me, so in the morning I text him and said...
"I'll do it but it better be soon before I change my mind"
The next day I spent the morning in work in tears out of fear of what I had agreed to do. At lunch time I rang him and said that I really didn't want to do it, the only reason I was doing it was because I was putting him first and I didn't want to do it. He said it was ok and he'd start me off small, he put my mind at ease somewhat.
Then last night, I led awake in bed, nothing in me wants to even try this rock climbing lark, it scares the shit out of me. So, on msn today while I was at work I told him I didn't want to do it, that if he judges my character because I don't wnat to do something that's unfair of him.
For him I have walked up mountains, something I would have never have done before, for him I have canoed down a lake, for him I have done wild camping with no shower facilities, for him I actually think I'd die because at least once you're dead you can't relive the experience in your head over and over again pertrifying yourself, but rock climbing is something I REALLY don't want to do. I'll watch him do it, if he wants to talk to me about I'll listen, but nothing in me wants to climb up the side of a cliff nothing at all.
He said it was fine, that I didn't have to do it and that i shouldn't let it keep me awake at night or cause me to get upset during my day, he was really quite good but he still thinks I should try it some time. My response was...
I really don't want to.
posted by Gretta James at 6:24 AM
4 Comments:
I am guessing this is the type of climbing where you're hanging by a line and by the tips of your fingers?
i always poo-pooed people who were scared of heights till i went on a weekend of adventures and saw a grown woman with 3 children wet her pants from climbing up a ladder... now I get it. It's a terrible fear, so if you don't want to do it, don't do it.
That being said she went on to NAIL the rock climbing and found it helped her get past some of her fears... but it took her a lot of year to be ready to try!
coercion is bad form. one shouldn't try to compel others to share one's own idiosyncratic enjoyments. (if an interest is shared that's splendid; if it's not then arm-twisting isn't the answer). that's selfish. won't do.
Scotty.. Yep you're right, When CD was a kid he was junior rock climber of the year in the South of England a few years running, so he's well into hanging off cliff faces on rope, not my idea of fun tho!
Betty.. Part of me doesn't like having the fear, the other part has no desire to overcome it, I can live with it as long as I don't have to beat it, if I have to beat it I may struggle living LOL!
CS.. I completely agree, there is a line between wanting someone to experience something and being selfish but it's a very fine line.
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