without you to hold :(
My laptop has gone into repair, which means... I have to work off the slowest desktop in the world or at least that's how it feels right about now.
CD and I have been chatting far too much on msn, far too much. And the Ex invited loads of us round the other night and I went and army hunk was there, it was the first time I'd seen him since that night. The night that led CD to tell me that he felt too strongly for me to want to ever have to see me with someone else, and it wasn't jealous but a deep planted feeling that felt as if he'd had a knife put through his heart and turned. WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT THAT ALL TURNED OUT TO BE!!!!
But yes I went to the exs and realised I was sat in a room with far too many people that I'd either slept with or had some sort of snog fest with. The room for me was full of rejection, the reminder that for some reason Gretta just can't hold down a relationship. So what did I do? I got pissed.
CD then came across as very judgemental yesterday, he pointed out that I had got wasted. I wasn't wasted. I was tipsy I told him, I think I was more than tipsy but I wasn't wasted. Like I could walk almost straight and I managed to get the key in my house door absolutely fine and I struggle doing that when sober. So definitely wasn't wasted. He can go judge someone else I don't give a stink what he thinks.
Only.. I think I kind of do! I still miss his friendship, I still care a great deal for him. He bought me a Christmas present I was shocked he didn't buy me one last year and last year he was pursuing me. I had to figure out what calibre of present it was. He's bought me a book about something personal I shared with him when we were together, so thought definitely went into it. I spoke to Best Friend asking what I should do and she advised me a no thought present would be the best way forward. So I bought him a box of chocolates. He's gona know it was a no thought present but at least it's a present.
Oh and Army Hunk, was a right pain in the ass all night at The Exs place. He was the biggest nerd ever, can't believe I didn't notice previously, but previously I actually was wasted. He text me as soon as i left asking if I wanted to go for a drink sometime. I decided that I couldn't even respond to that text.
Jerkboy has met a girl, that he likes, I'm pretty sure she's interested in him too. I really hope it works for him I do, but without JerkBoy being JerkBoy, I know this Christmas is going to be just a little bit lonely for me. It's my favourite time of year, but for the last 5 I've been single and for some bizarre reason I was looking forward to sharing Christmas with CD this year, I was in an actualy relationship and not some fling for the first time in ages and what happened it fell apart. Typical...
But on a lighter note.... I get to go away in the first week of January and I'll be meeting lots of new folk. And that I look forward too!!! Roll on 2009.
If I don't blog again before Christmas...
Have a happy Christmas and rocking 2009
Love you all
Gretta...
CD and I have been chatting far too much on msn, far too much. And the Ex invited loads of us round the other night and I went and army hunk was there, it was the first time I'd seen him since that night. The night that led CD to tell me that he felt too strongly for me to want to ever have to see me with someone else, and it wasn't jealous but a deep planted feeling that felt as if he'd had a knife put through his heart and turned. WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT THAT ALL TURNED OUT TO BE!!!!
But yes I went to the exs and realised I was sat in a room with far too many people that I'd either slept with or had some sort of snog fest with. The room for me was full of rejection, the reminder that for some reason Gretta just can't hold down a relationship. So what did I do? I got pissed.
CD then came across as very judgemental yesterday, he pointed out that I had got wasted. I wasn't wasted. I was tipsy I told him, I think I was more than tipsy but I wasn't wasted. Like I could walk almost straight and I managed to get the key in my house door absolutely fine and I struggle doing that when sober. So definitely wasn't wasted. He can go judge someone else I don't give a stink what he thinks.
Only.. I think I kind of do! I still miss his friendship, I still care a great deal for him. He bought me a Christmas present I was shocked he didn't buy me one last year and last year he was pursuing me. I had to figure out what calibre of present it was. He's bought me a book about something personal I shared with him when we were together, so thought definitely went into it. I spoke to Best Friend asking what I should do and she advised me a no thought present would be the best way forward. So I bought him a box of chocolates. He's gona know it was a no thought present but at least it's a present.
Oh and Army Hunk, was a right pain in the ass all night at The Exs place. He was the biggest nerd ever, can't believe I didn't notice previously, but previously I actually was wasted. He text me as soon as i left asking if I wanted to go for a drink sometime. I decided that I couldn't even respond to that text.
Jerkboy has met a girl, that he likes, I'm pretty sure she's interested in him too. I really hope it works for him I do, but without JerkBoy being JerkBoy, I know this Christmas is going to be just a little bit lonely for me. It's my favourite time of year, but for the last 5 I've been single and for some bizarre reason I was looking forward to sharing Christmas with CD this year, I was in an actualy relationship and not some fling for the first time in ages and what happened it fell apart. Typical...
But on a lighter note.... I get to go away in the first week of January and I'll be meeting lots of new folk. And that I look forward too!!! Roll on 2009.
If I don't blog again before Christmas...
Have a happy Christmas and rocking 2009
Love you all
Gretta...
posted by Gretta James at 7:35 AM
2 Comments:
Sorry you didnt have a good night Gretta, hopefully you feel better...
Where are you going?!
Happy holidays, have a safe trip and, more importantly, a great time!
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