Random thoughts
How do I put this...
When it has come to guys I’m not too shy but there is an exception, I’m not shy if I know that the guy wants what I want, a little harmless flirtation, a cuddle while watching a film, a quick snog on the dance floor. I’m not someone to put myself out there with anyone, I like to be in a “relationship” to do that. Only issue being I’m shy of the people that I think would be more of a harmless flirtation because flirting with this person would mean that if it went wrong I may get hurt or worse they may get hurt, I won’t cuddle watching a film just in case it turns into more than a cuddle and what if I end up hurt or worse, they end up hurt, and I won’t snog on the dance floor if I expect it’ll turn into more and someone, most likely me but possibly them will get hurt.
So, this is the issue, this is why when Climber Dude (Chap) came over for a meal last night, and when we sat down to watch a film after I couldn’t bring myself to sit on the same couch as him. This is why when I flirt or he flirts I end up putting blunt stops to it, this is why when I see him out of my front door I can’t seem to grab him, pull him to me and snog his face off like I so want to do.
I have been thinking about how easy it all was with Flatmate, how I could work my stuff and get exactly what I wanted. Don’t fear I don’t want Flatmate back, but why I can’t work my stuff with Climber Dude the way I did with Flatmate I can’t really quite figure out. I know Flatmate was a safe option, unavailable, easy, a little bit of fun. I know that. But I want what Climber Dude has to offer so why is it so hard, why don’t I feel comfortable enough to seal the deal. Is it because I fear commitment? Is it because he is available? Or is it just because it’s not right? I actually don’t think it’s any of those things. I don’t think I do fear commitment, I don’t mind that he’s free and single, I do think that as soon as we take the step from friendship to relationship it will work and we’d both be happy. So, why can’t I make that step and more to the point why can’t he?
When it has come to guys I’m not too shy but there is an exception, I’m not shy if I know that the guy wants what I want, a little harmless flirtation, a cuddle while watching a film, a quick snog on the dance floor. I’m not someone to put myself out there with anyone, I like to be in a “relationship” to do that. Only issue being I’m shy of the people that I think would be more of a harmless flirtation because flirting with this person would mean that if it went wrong I may get hurt or worse they may get hurt, I won’t cuddle watching a film just in case it turns into more than a cuddle and what if I end up hurt or worse, they end up hurt, and I won’t snog on the dance floor if I expect it’ll turn into more and someone, most likely me but possibly them will get hurt.
So, this is the issue, this is why when Climber Dude (Chap) came over for a meal last night, and when we sat down to watch a film after I couldn’t bring myself to sit on the same couch as him. This is why when I flirt or he flirts I end up putting blunt stops to it, this is why when I see him out of my front door I can’t seem to grab him, pull him to me and snog his face off like I so want to do.
I have been thinking about how easy it all was with Flatmate, how I could work my stuff and get exactly what I wanted. Don’t fear I don’t want Flatmate back, but why I can’t work my stuff with Climber Dude the way I did with Flatmate I can’t really quite figure out. I know Flatmate was a safe option, unavailable, easy, a little bit of fun. I know that. But I want what Climber Dude has to offer so why is it so hard, why don’t I feel comfortable enough to seal the deal. Is it because I fear commitment? Is it because he is available? Or is it just because it’s not right? I actually don’t think it’s any of those things. I don’t think I do fear commitment, I don’t mind that he’s free and single, I do think that as soon as we take the step from friendship to relationship it will work and we’d both be happy. So, why can’t I make that step and more to the point why can’t he?
posted by Gretta James at 5:38 AM
1 Comments:
Probably because he hasnt made you feel comfortable enough to do so?
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