Who wudda thought I'd be here!

Last night Climber Dude invited some people round to his place to catch up.

I got intellect to drive and as we pulled up Climber Dude text us saying he was out and running late but he shouldn't be too long. We decided to go and find the nearest shop.

As I was in the shop I turned around and there he was Climber Dude and then walking behind him was another girl that we know. We will call her ditzy becasue she really is. My first thought was..... He's been with Ditzy, I felt jealousy swarm over me like a swarm of wasps. I'm not sure what my facial expression said at that moment in time but all I could think was..... "He likes Ditzy".

I buy the pack of sweets that were in my hand and I head outside to Intellect's car still feeling slightly crappy inside and then I see Ditzy get into her car, than Climber Dude followed and got into his car which was parked the otherside of Ditzy's car.

So, it turns out me and Intellect weren't the only ones thinking of going to the shop before meeting at Climber Dude's place. Ditzy also had the same idea and so did Climber Dude and we'd all bumped into each other in the shop - nothing going on between them at all. How stupid did I feel after that?

I really hate these feelings though. I can't remember the last time I was properly jealous! The thing is he hasn't tried anything on even though I'd like it if he did, and I don't think he is going too even though I want him too AND I am not happy about him trying it on with anyone else either.

Last night he made a point of making it clear he was still planning on going away next year and I really don't think that he's looking for a girlfriend of any sort, me or anyone so that's good, but in saying that we have definitely started flirting a bit more even last night we were a bit, our friendship HAS now changed, I feel comfortable around him and not only that we're definitely spending more time together.

I got home last night and he was online, he started a conversation with me, it was brief coz I had to go to bed due to work today. Then at work today - I was majorly busy but he was on a afternoon shift with his work so he just chit chatted to me on msn all morning, while I was doing my work - like it wasn't a constant conversation but it was just a chit chat and then he said bye before going to work.

I know I'm being typically female and analysing EVERY little detail but in my opinion something has chnaged between us.

However, I think the timing of this is so unbelieveabley wrong. He doesn't want a relationship, he wants to go and study abroad next year. I do want a relationship, I'm beginning to get feelings for him and I'm not happy about him being with another girl, yet there is no way, no matter how close we come would I ever ask him not to pursue his dream . Whether he's interested or not, at this moment in time we are in totally different places in our lives. He's younger than me too which you wouldn't know because he looks older, but that could be something to do with why we're in different places with out lives.

So, the end line is, I need to not have feelings for Clmber Dude. However, feelings are feelings because you can't control them! I guess I need to not chat to him on msn so much, because msn is a risky business with me, I feel like I can be more open online and that's not ALWAYS a good thing, I need to try and back off but I don't REALLY want too..

Side Note: Jerk Boy and Pretty Girl are flirting so oooooo much it's shocking I feel like telling them to go and find a private office somewhere. Young love makes me wana puke.