There maybe trouble a head.

I think I'm getting feelings for Climber Dude.

I don't want to have feelings for Climber Dude, because I can't work him out at all, but... I think I have feelings for Climber Dude.

I don't really like feelings. I like to be in control and when feelings are in control it all goes horribly wrong for Gretta.

For instance,

Horrible situation #1 - when I started getting feelings for Jerk Boy - it all went wrong, for 2 weeks then we picked up our friendship and have been fine ever since, but those 2 weeks of avoiding each other in work and with friends was horrible.

Horrible situation #2 - Teddy, met Teddy traveling, built up a relationship, he asks me to stay, I can't because my flight home is booked and he left it until the day before I had to leave to ask, then 2 years later we meet again and the same chemistry is still there, yet... HE LEAVES.

Horrible situation #3 - I get to know Flatmate, knowing Flatmate has a girlfriend, he works his stuff with me being some super human with a great amount of strength for the first 2 months of his constant pursuing and then eventually I cave in, we start having a fling, for a good month of that no real feelings were involved and then - There they are.... Feelings, and as soon as feelings started happening, he goes straight back to his happy little life, with his happy little girlfriend.

So Climber Dude....

He invited me to go surfing and camping this weekend, with him and another couple we know. This confused me, I invite him out to the pub (thinking it as a time to catch up with just him) he then invites all of our friends. So, I think (understandably) he doesn't want to spend time alone with me, he's not interested.

Then.... The next day he invites me to go camping and surfing with another couple?? What the crap is that about? I say no. It's practically winter here there is no chance you're gona get me in a tent when it's cold. He then texts me saying they can't camp because all of the campsites are shut (yes that's because it's winter you insane lunatic) so they're just gona go for the day instead - so am I up for it.

I have a long think about and and then decide that I've only ever been surfing once before, and 6 foot waves, in the cold sea in winter, having to hire a wetsuit and having to get up ridiculously early to travel to coast on a Saturday, all combined, that NO I wouldn't go.

Came online last night and he was still trying his hardest to convince me to go but my decision was completely made. I WAS NOT GOING. I'm glad too, because I still felt a little rejected from the night before.

Anyway, I'm probably going to catch up with him on Sunday but the point is, there was one reason that was swaying me the other way with surfing, and that was I wouldn't have minded spending the say with Climber Dude. I did feel rejected when he invited everyone else to join us at the pub, I like coming online to see him online so we can have a quick chat before bed, and now when someone in our group of friends mentions Climber Dude I find myself listening in to figure out what they're saying.

This is bad. I don't want to have feelings for Climber Dude, when Gretta gets feelings, it all goes horribly wrong.