twisted mind of Gretta

When any relationship breaks down you're gona have good days and bad days, today is a in the middle day. I feel like almost lost, like everything I'd been working towards, a future with him has gone. I don't really want to analyse anymore, I don't really want to talk about it anymore, I just want that day that I can picture in my mind where I'm not thinking about him, and how he is, if he's thinking about me too, to be here. I want that day to be today but it's not and I don't think it'll be here for a while.

I am trying my hardest not to rebound or run but in my head I've done both, I've run away to Australia to be with Teddy, I've contacted Teddy, I've thought about another guy I met at a wedding last year that I hit it off with even though CD and I were together, CD was away and couldn't make that wedding and I remember thinking if I weren't with CD you'd be an option, I instinctively remember a jealous twinge when this guy danced with another girl which was stupid because I was with CD at the time. My head is all over the shop, it's hard because work is crap at the moment to, redundancies all over the place, so I want to look for a new job but have no idea what to look for, so half of me does just want to escape at the moment, to just jack everything in and go away. I don't think that's the answer but my thoughts are really frustrating me.