The X - Part 1.

Lots of bloggers have been talking about their xs lately! Ok so when I say lots I clearly mean Betty and Scotty. However, considering I don't get many visitors to my blog (and actually my boob pic managed to entice a few wanders -I'm unsure how, maybe I do have a few blog lurkers) 2 IS A LOT in Gretta's world.

I've decided to be brave and spill the beans about my X. Hmmmmm.

I haven't been in a proper relationship for 5 years now. That's a LONG time when I think about it. However, I was pretty screwwed up after the (dreaded) X. I am completely over it now. I've had a few flings, and a fair few dates over the years and loads of 'possibles' yet it's never amounted to anything and you know what even though I would probably say I am very ready to be in a full on relationship, I am not foolish enough to give my heart compleltely to someone who is with another, and Im not gona give it to someone who doesn't fully appreciate me either. So I am not too bothered about my little playful life because until I meet someone who is right, I don't want to settle for anything less.

So, we'll keep this simple and call him.... The X.

I met The X when I was very young. I was 13 to be precise and he was 16. He dated my older sister briefly, for about a week, they didn't even snog (so he told me). I had the biggest crush on him, he was tall, dark, blue eyed, and very handsome yet he was also endearing, the typical quiet type, if he got embarrassed he'd blush - there was something that always managed to draw me to him. I liked him on and off all through my teenage years, and he'd told a friend that he liked me too but he saw me as too young for him, so at the back of my mind there was always that knowing that when I became an age that was 'acceptable' for him we'd get together. We were always pretty close friends and hung around with the same group - I tended to hang around the older people at school for some reason.

When I reached 16 and him being now 19, he started seeing someone, and I was devasted. Not to be a bitch but she was really very bizarre and gave me the heebeegeebees! I couldn't understand. I thought that 16 was quite an acceptable age, but clearly he didn't and had given up on waiting. So, I ended up with a guy who we will call NZ (coz he was born in New Zealand). So, NZ was a stud. I mean it, I've never met anyone as good looking and will never date anyone so 'typically' good looking again. NZ was picture perfect and to be honest I actually felt quite low in esteem when I was with him because I felt other girls would look at me and think I wasn't in his league. With that in mind I NEVER fully trusted NZ and NEVER gave him as much as he gave me. Girls would flock to him and the funny thing is he was smitten with me. I was just never smitten with him. He really did move heaven and earth to make me happy but it just wasn't enough. I was with NZ for 7 months in total, which I thought was quite good going for a 16 year old. While I was with him The X broke up with the freak he was with and the week after I'd ended things with NZ, The X called me up.

The X: Gretta, I've found out you and NZ have split up and wondered if you fancied a walk?

Gretta (who's always been a bit naive): A walk? Who's going the usual crowd?

The X: No Gretta, just me.

Clearly this was going to be the moment I'd been waiting for, for 4 years but the timing was completely wrong, you see when I ended things with NZ he cried on my shoulder. I'd never seen him cry before but this picture perfect guy was crying and I'd broken his 16 year old heart. To then just a week later start seeing someone else seemed too wrong even for Gretta.

Gretta: look, it's really not a good time for me to go for a walk right now, maybe another time.

The X: Gretta? You know what I want to ask.

Gretta: yes I do know and it's not a good time, I'm just out of a relationship.

And things were left at that.

Ok so I'm gona continue this later because it's clearly a long story and I'm not even going out with The X yet. I do have a habit of wanted to tell the WHOLE story.

To be continued....