Have you ever needed someone so much that it hurt you?

Ever needed a man to take your hand in his and place it on his beating heart so you can feel that he’s living, that he’s breathing and that he’s all yours.

I feel like that today!

Sometimes I hate the fact that Flatmate has a girlfriend, I hate that I am not the number one girl in his life, I hate that fact that I am not all his and that I have to share him with someone else. I never let on to him that I feel that way but sometimes I do.

I had an email from Teddy the other day, and he’s still planning on visiting in July, suddenly it didn’t feel right meeting up with him because of Flatmate however, I figure I still should. I mean Flatmate has a girlfriend, I am single why should I not go out and date potentials?

I got a wedding invite from my someone the other day. I can’t go to his wedding. I knew I’d get an invite but there is no way on this earth I can attend. However, I wish him all the best. He really is a true angel.

God I need Flatmate, I need to feel his skin on my skin, I need to taste his lips on my lips, I need to run my fingers through his soft dark blonde hair and gaze constantly into his hazel eyes, I need him to run his hands all over my body and to leave me weak. I need him and I want him right here, right now.