Life is but a lesson

I sometimes think that my friends are the best friends in the world. Jerk Boy who I haven't caught up with really since being with CD. No fault of my own, JB himself stopped contacting me, and I got fed up of trying to make effort with someone who didn't seem bothered. Anyway back to point, Jerk Boy invited himself over Tuesday eve, and really just wanted the gossip which I willingly gave him.

Since then Best Friend, and another old friend and Jerk Boy all decided that they wanted to organise an X Factor night at my place Saturday night. I don't even watch X Factor but I think they all want to show me they care. After their persistence I sent out an email to all my close friends invitng them. Including CD.

Why invite CD, well I said that we'd be friends, he wouldn't have to spend any alone time with me, this way I don't isolate him from his friends too, and to be honest I think I'm strong enough. He sent an email back declining saying that he couldn't make it.

I don't mind that he couldn't make it, but I do worry where his head is at. I sometimes wonder if he knows he's lost one of the best things he could have ever had, that's not saying he wont meet a girl and fall in love, but all it's saying was I was darn accommodating and if he tried I reckon he could have fallen in love with me. He just didn't try and as a result I think he'll end up with someone far less giving, and far less loving, and far less accommodating.

I feel a bit empty because I gave so bloody much and that's my lesson learnt.

Oh well. Life is but a lesson.