Fool for love
So, where are we?? Well, he started a conversation with me the other day. I was really pleased about that I didn't tell him I was pleased about that, maybe I should have done! It's just I was thinking now he has a girlfriend he would just start losing contact with me. Yet, if anything he has made a bit more of an effort, maybe he realises that I would be fearing losing his friendship now he is with another, who knows? Anyway, I am really glad that he is making an effort with me I would be devastated if we were to lose contact now after all this time.
I have been a little silly though. I started flirting with a man, when I say a man I mean someone who is over 15 years older than myself! I know I am a fool, I have just been feeling so hurt by him and this other girl that I needed attention and this man I know has flirted with me before and I knew he would again. I also knew it would be harmless because surely he realises I wont fall for someone that much older than myself!! Trouble is I decided to tell him about it, I thought he would give me a good telling off, and he was a little disaproving but he wasn't as protective of me as he used to be!! That whole "look after yourself" thing he is taking quite seriously. I half expected him to get on his moral high horse and tell me to lstay away of men I can't handle but he didn't he just laughed it off and told me to be careful and that was pretty much it.. I guess I told him, to try and make him jealous, the worst part is, it didn't work in the slightest and now just feel really stupid.
I know it doesn't sound like it from some of the stuff I have said above but I do think I am beginning to except now that he will never be mine and that he is happy with his girl! I don't think about him as much in my day as I used to, I do still think about him just every 10 minutes as opposed to every 5 minute previously! I'll get there I'm sure. I just wish I'd never fallen so deep in the first place but it didn't happen suddenly we were friends for at least 2 years before I started to see him as more than that. I wish I could go back to that time when I only saw him as a friend but I can't turn back the clock, if only I could, I definitely would.
I have been a little silly though. I started flirting with a man, when I say a man I mean someone who is over 15 years older than myself! I know I am a fool, I have just been feeling so hurt by him and this other girl that I needed attention and this man I know has flirted with me before and I knew he would again. I also knew it would be harmless because surely he realises I wont fall for someone that much older than myself!! Trouble is I decided to tell him about it, I thought he would give me a good telling off, and he was a little disaproving but he wasn't as protective of me as he used to be!! That whole "look after yourself" thing he is taking quite seriously. I half expected him to get on his moral high horse and tell me to lstay away of men I can't handle but he didn't he just laughed it off and told me to be careful and that was pretty much it.. I guess I told him, to try and make him jealous, the worst part is, it didn't work in the slightest and now just feel really stupid.
I know it doesn't sound like it from some of the stuff I have said above but I do think I am beginning to except now that he will never be mine and that he is happy with his girl! I don't think about him as much in my day as I used to, I do still think about him just every 10 minutes as opposed to every 5 minute previously! I'll get there I'm sure. I just wish I'd never fallen so deep in the first place but it didn't happen suddenly we were friends for at least 2 years before I started to see him as more than that. I wish I could go back to that time when I only saw him as a friend but I can't turn back the clock, if only I could, I definitely would.
posted by Gretta James at 7:52 AM
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